HI everyone,
I am new to this, but I felt it was important for me to write this and get some reassurance, I guess.
I am at the point of breaking up with my partner of six years, and I need to make sure that I’m making the right decision.
I guess it’s hard to express 5 years of disappointment in one short paragraph, but I will try. We’ve been together for 5 years and we have a little girl who is 2.5. We started off as all couples do with the sweetest year of romance that turned into 4 consequent years of struggles. In the past 5 years he had struggled to keep a job or provide for us, meaning that I ended up going back to work when out daughter was still 9 months old. Having to take out numerous loans to make sure we have a roof over our heads. I have lost 2 stones during that time and ended up having a nervous breakdown, I have now been on antidepressants for almost a year, which is the only thing that’s keeping me sane.
When we were at our lowest, he insisted that the only way he would be able to provide for us is if he could invest money into his friends’ business. Stupidly I have taken out a HUGE loan to invest into it… the “friend” the disappeared with the money, meaning that I am still repaying it whilst he’d not made one single payment towards it. Over the past 2 years we have been made homeless, lived with our daughter on friends’ couch, my mums house and we are back to living in a small studio apartment where three of us trying to survive.
Aside from the financial problems, I have found myself losing trust in him completely. When we were at lowest, with no food/money and a new-born baby I have found some messages on his phone which were sent to a woman, they were of a sexual nature. Since then I’ve not been able to trust him, and the more I suspected him in wrongdoing the more evidence I found on his phone every time I looked through it. Recently I found out that he was in contact with the same woman again, and that was hard to accept.
Recently though, things got worse. ON 4 occasion in the last month I found cocaine on him. One night he stumbled in home and I guess he was so out of his head that he forgot that he left the drugs on the kitchen counter – where our daughter normally has breakfast. The other three times they were either in his pocket or laying around – no care was given in even trying to hide it.
Now I’ve come to a point that I need to protect myself and my daughter, I haven’t been happy for a long time – but was trying to keep a happy home for my little one. But it’s no longer a happy home and I am tired of pretending.
I am now thinking of my way out of this situation without him – but I wanted some reassurance that I am not overreacting, that I’m doing the right thing. I’d appreciate your input.
Thank you.