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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Relationship advice??

5 replies

Meau · 10/08/2018 06:34

I moved into my partner’s house the month before I had our son. My partner pays the mortgage and bills, whilst I do all chores/cooking/shopping for the house and everything for our son. I have offered on numerous occasions to pay half of bills and he doesn’t want me to. However, he frequently reminds me that this is his house and I’m lucky to not have bills to pay. In the past, he has laughed at how little I had saved or how little I earn. I know I have been fortunate to not pay bills but I spend a lot of time and money on the house and shopping. I go back to work in sept after a ‘year off’, so I’ve been on maternity pay. I’ve also worked evenings from home since the beginning of June. Now, he has transferred all money I had saved from the joint account back to me, and we are going to have a formal arrangement of what we each pay for bills (minus mortgage), things for our son and food shopping.
On a more positive note, he is incredibly generous. He has just booked us a family holiday for next week, but won’t take any money for it.
Sometimes I just feel so bloody lonely, we hardly talk some days.
I’d really like your opinions on this, please.

OP posts:
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 10/08/2018 06:40

You may want to ask to get this moved into "Relationships" so that it's seen.

AnyaMumsnet · 10/08/2018 10:06

Hi there everyone,

We're moving this to relationships now.

Storm4star · 10/08/2018 11:28

I'm concerned by the fact that he is keeping the mortgage as his bill only, while all your money goes on things for the three of you and on buying things for "his" house. Added to that, the fact you are doing all the chores and childcare. So you give up all your money and all your time and one day he could just turn around and kick you out, and you have nothing. Where is your security in all this?

ripironlady2018 · 10/08/2018 13:09

I suspect he is not taking any money towards the mortgage incase you try to lay claim on the property if you separate.
He laughs at how little you save/earn - doesn't sound like a nice person to me!

sarahjconnor · 10/08/2018 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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