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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Please give me some advice.

4 replies

Gates · 09/08/2018 16:10

So basically my sister has got it in her head my husband is abusive. She has taken her concerns to my mum who has since questioned me and given me a lecture. Im sat here really upset I cant tell him as he will be so upset.

This has come from nowhere and so shocked. Dont know what to do about it.

Its all come from my niece who claims he was pushing me around at a recent family event. This hasnt happened and can only think its when we had had a few drinks and we were messing around play fighting. My niece is 18 so should know the difference.

Apparently he also talks down to me and has a lot of females on facebook who he appears to be flirting with.

I have been with him 12 years and every now and then they make it clear they dont like him 😥😥

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 09/08/2018 16:14

Why do you think they don't like him?

Original poster
Gates · 09/08/2018 16:44

I really dont know, my mum doesnt seem to like any of my siblings partners either one is justified.

They never liked him from the start, he had been in trouble with police in his younger days and a reputation locally as been a bit of a bad lad but hes totally different since we had our eldest, he suffers with anxiety and depression and sometimes he can be a bit "off" with people if hes in that mood, somedays totally opposite and I know thry dont know where they are with him sometimes.

We generally have an happy loving home wouldnt change anything. Sometimes I wonder if they are jealous

OP posts:
sirmione16 · 09/08/2018 18:15

It's upsetting, I hear you. But if they've got genuine concerns then you can be grateful that they'd step in if they think you're in danger, be appreciative they care enough to say something.

I think the best way to respond is to re assure them that things are fine and just got misinterpreted, but also tell them their concern and care is appreciated and that you know they're there to support you if anything ever did happen or if you were in a bad situation.

Please be cautious, as often when we're in a situation too deep it can be hard to see anything going wrong - people on the outside may see things differently to how you do. They're you're family and you sound like you do respect them and their opinion, and there is love there - not malicious intent.

Best of luck x

Original poster
Gates · 09/08/2018 22:19

Thank you. Yes i respect their opinions and know they are just looking out for me, its just hard to have listen to their opinions when they dont really know what goes on.

We bicker alot over stupid things but never any major arguing, we might call each other an idiot etc but thats far as it goes x

OP posts:
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