Unplanned pregnancy in new relationship

[RL22]

Me and my other half had been seeing each other for 7 weeks when we found out she was a month pregnant.

Before I found out she was pregnant, I was starting to realise I didn’t see anything serious with her but since the pregnancy news have felt I needed to give things a go. Deep down, I’m not sure we are compatible or that I will ever love her the way she deserves to be loved. I feel so unsure what to do though, if we aren’t together she will be moving back to her home town 2 hours away and I won’t be near my child. I’m desperate to do the right thing and obviously be the best father possible whether we are together or not but I can’t help being honest and at the moment I feel like I’m living a lie and that we’re only together still because of the pregnancy.

Has anyone been in similar situations and how did it turn out?

Thanks

My ex was in this situation and it didn't end up well. They tried to make a go of it but were incompatible in many ways. I can't really advise you, but living a lie never turns out well.

You can be the best father you can be without being a poor partner to someone.

How long has it been since she found oit shes pregnant? Id say better to make your feelings known and she can at least make plans for being a single mum.

Does she know how you feel? Maybe if she knows she may be a single mum she may not go ahead with the pregnancy?

If the baby is born then you may as well give it a go and see how you both feel and then decide what to do.

Do you know how she feels? Do you think she thinks there's a future with you or is she in a similar 'let's give it a go' position?

You probably need a discussion about what you both feel about everything.

My friend became pregnant very early into a relationship with someone, they ended up having more children together and got married but she admitted to me that she wouldn't have stayed with him had she not got pregnant the first time and they did go on to divorce.

Another that would say tell her ASAP. As much as you don't want to be the bad guy, you could actually be making it much worse to not give her the option.

Good luck!

I think you need to have a discussion quick-sharp!
Tell her what you've told us and see what happens.
She may feel exactly the same way.

Thank you all for your replies. Sorry I could of put some more detail in my initial post. She knows how I feel. When we first found out she was pregnant after some time to both think about things she said regardless of how I felt she wanted to keep the child.

I told her I had doubts about us at the time but felt like I should at least give things a chance when she wanted to keep it. I’m just finding it difficult moving forward and talking about the future and making plans with her when I feel uncertain about her as a long term partner.

As it stands she will be moving away in 4 months time to give birth back in her home town. I completely understand that she wants to have the support of her family especially with our situation. Just finding it difficult to know what to do, I want to be involved as much as possible in my child’s life and I hate the thought of only seeing them potentially every other weekend. I realise that’s the reality for a lot of parents.

I think you have to be very, very honest and start having some difficult conversations. Co-parenting when you're not in a relationship is hard, but it can be done - the trick is to put the child first.