Is dh sending me a message loud and clear?

[Safariqueen]

I feel as though dh isn't interested in me anymore.

I can't really explain it, he's just a bit vacant.

We've always had a steady sex life, he's never been on for swinging from the chandeliers but it was always regular enough.

He doesn't instigate it anymore, if I instigate sex he always responds and seems to enjoy it but he never instigates and I'd say it's been like that since I got pregnant with our second child 4 years ago. The only reason I can think for this, apart from him not fancying me, is that he's always liked sex in the morning, our first child used to sleep in so we'd do it first thing, but our youngest climbs into our bed during the night. We are also both knackered a lot.

We don't have any date nights, again, if I arrange something he'll happily go along with it, but he never suggests/arranges anything.

We get on ok, we do bicker but nothing serious, we do chat and talk loads, but I almost feel like we've got a brother/sister relationship at times.

He's a nice enough husband and dad, he's a family man not off disappearing on endless nights out or hobbies, he's always around, he just seems indifferent/apathetic to me.

I have spoken to him about this several time but he just completely denies it and says I'm imagining things and everything is fine.

I'm frustrated and don't know what to do, sometimes I feel like leaving and seeing if he actually cares.

The only way I can get dh to arrange anything is to tell him to do it. Otherwise it's all me. And we don't have kids knackering us out. Lol. Tell him exactly what you want him to do. No subtle hints, no little clues. If date nights arranged by him make you feel cared for, then tell him."every 1st weekend of the month you need to arrange a date night". Works for dh, otherwise he just doesn't think about it.
And move 2nd dc back to their own bed. They'll get used to it.

It sounds like for him things are comfortable and he's happy and he doesn't seem to understand that you want more than that. It's not easy for someone like that to change as they don't see there's a problem.

Reading it back I know that it doesn't sound like there's too much wrong. I don't want big romantic gestures or anything like that.

I guess maybe he doesn't seem happy, but he says he is.

Maybe we are just at that stage of our relationship.

He's a lucky chap to have caring wife like you. Good luck.