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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I - can I - stop contact?

1 reply

roominthesky · 09/08/2018 00:34

My children's father has just been told he faces being prosecuted for animal cruelty. His house is a tip - bare floorboards upstairs, garden covered in dog mess. His girlfriend has openly insulted my autistic child and his father did not defend him. She has also tried to discipline this child in ways inappropriate to his additional needs. The child concerned refused to see his father on the following scheduled weekend but saw him subsequently. Their father has been consistently up to an hour late collecting from school and 3 hours late dropping them back to me. He has resigned from his job since being asked by the child maintenance service to pay the correct rate of child support. Can I stop contact? There is no court order. Obviously I would not want this to be a permanent thing, children should have a father. What can I realistically ask him to change (he won't give up his girlfriend for example) and is resistent to anything I say. He was subtly abusive throughout our marriage and has a long history of doing what he wants. He has refused mediation and I have no money for legal help, particularly as he is now finding ways to reduce his payments to me.

OP posts:
Pixikitten0123 · 09/08/2018 08:30

You can stop contact if you feel that the children are at risk, I have at the moment. Your ex would then see a solicitor and take you to court. You would have to try mediation first unless there’s been domestic violence or a serious safeguarding concern. It’s the children’s right to see the non resident parent not the other way round. Courts are in favour of children having a relationship with both parents. I will be skipping the mediation due to domestic violence and emotional and financial abuse and seeking supervised contact through a contact centre once my ex sues me.

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