How much time should i be spending with my children?

[notagain123456]

I have 12 year old twins, i work full time.

After a few comments from a family member where ive been told i need to spend more time with my kids i wanted to know what was normal?

I have a two week holiday booked with them fast approaching, i have a few days off work before this for packing and getting organised.
over the last few weekends i have taken my daughter for afternoon tea, hosted a family bbq, been to a few family bbqs , had pizza and film night, been camping for a weekend and hosted a birthday breakfast which the kids came too.

My son would be on his xbox 24/7 if i let him. He has been on a day out with his step dad when we went for afternoon tea and they both go to the gym with their step dad sometimes.

In the evenings after work, i do a few job, then cook tea, i rarely watch tv.

I now have mum guilt because of what my relative has said but i genuinely dot know how i could do things better.

My children do not do activities anymore as they chose not too.

The comments came about after the relative had my children overnight (which doesnt happen often) and told me the next day to get dressed and spend time with them. after a hectic few weeks we were having a pj day and were going to watch a few films. My husband had been called into work on a emergency.

I suffer from anxiety and used to have many issues with this family member trying to get me to live life in her way, since my children started senior school i dont see her as much and my symptoms have improved (she wasnt the sole cause and i am on medication now)

Also their dad hasnt seen them since mid April and gets away scott free.

thank you, i have done but it still upsets me. my daughter will help me cooke tea but my son would rather be on his xbox and if i took it off him (its currently banned) he just whinges to go back on and tells me he is bored. I cant entertain them all the time? he has books, likes drawing, play out (which isnt spending time with me) i feel like i cant win. Honestly i have a cleaner a few hours a week to clean the bathrooms and floors. if i didnt have her i would be cleaning all weekend. The thing is if i told this relative i had a cleaner they would pull their face.

I think with kids it's not so much the holidays and the days out that count but that little bit of time every day and every week that help maintain intimacy with kids. Often it's the time just the two of you when you're giving them a lift to a mate's house where there's no pressure that they'll really open up and talk. That little bit of time where you're making dinner or chatting to them about their day and you reconnect. It may not look like much to nosy relatives but it's what counts.

It is perfectly fine to stop caring what she thinks. Her perspective is completely irrelevant to your life.

Stop letting her comments manipulate you. Your dc need to go shopping so they will know how to do it themselves one day.

You do not need to justify anything to her. You are not her employee and she is not your boss.

Perhaps be Grey Rock around her (if you ever need to be around her). Don’t volunteer information. Give vague short answers. Don’t give her anything to criticize.

andtheband, i am trying to do this, the thing is for many years i have believed she can do no wrong and have always felt i have been in the wrong, its only since im in my current relationship ive had the strength to say "its my life and they are my kids"

You sound like a normal working mum trying to balance everything and doing a good job. Be kind to yourself

thank you minime

You're doing a great job. Relative sounds superior and judgey. You don't need her or her comments. Laugh her off and be proud of who you are and what you have achieved. Do what you want and stick 2 fingers up at miss thinks she and her way is perfect.

thanks catsick great name