Is he Cheating on me??!!

[melse2964]

So for a few weeks now.. my OH has been really distant, he’s been going out a lot more and just not himself... Another thing is ive noticed he’s been starting up arguments over Nothing!!
Everytime he goes out he stays out ‘at a friends house’ , we dont spend time together anymore & when DS asks to go out with him he refuses. I dont have any evidence that hes actually being unfaithful, Ive just got a weird odd feeling theres something he’s not telling me...
What shjould I do?.. talk to him or not...
thanks

Starting an argument is typical of cheaters...then storming off and staying out for the night.

I don't really understand this staying out because of a row.

Is he secretive with his phone?

When you sense he's after an argument...don't rise to it. Just don't engage and see what happens. You can say (calmly) you need to get something from shop and pop out... or you've got a terrible headache coming on and need to have a quick lie down.

If he pushes it...you'll know it's an excuse to leave the house.

Has your level of intimacy changed recently?

Is he more critical of you ?

At some point I'd sit him down and ask what's going on...because things seem different...in his attitude towards you.

Ask him straight up if he wants to be in this relationship...because you arent prepared to carry on like this.

Don't be gripped by fear. Don't accept less than you deserve...if he wants out then he should be man enough to tell you.

Well there's definitely something going on isn't there, and an affair would be the obvious explanation. But there are other possibilities, so keep your eyes and ears peeled for anything unusual, not just things that would point you towards affair.

I don't know what the right thing to suggest is to be honest. I think the sage advice would be watch and wait, probe the waters every now and then with some gentle exploratory questioning and discussions about your relationship.But in all likelihood if it were me I'd be hacking every piece of tech he had, tracking his phone on his nights out and maybe even following him... I could be accused of overkill, but I never let a gut feeling go unexplored. I'd expect any partner of mine, if they were to find out about my antics, to absolutely understand that. And at the end of the day, there's going to be something to find, at this point you just don't know what.

Anything unusual on your bank statements? Especially when he "goes out"...?

Is DS his child?
Basically, from what you've written, yes, he is cheating on you.
Can you do some snooping?
Do you have access to his devices?

I'm sorry, it's not looking good and even if he isn't cheating it sounds like he's distancing himself from you.

You do need to ask him what's going on, sometimes people won't admit it's not working for them unless their pushed. If you can it might be a good idea to do some detective work first, although do tread carefully as if he finds out it's giving him more ammunition to start another argument although to be fair you'd be very justified given how he's been behaving.

Urgh I meant 'they're' not 'their'.

Even if he isn't cheating, this is dickish behaviour. I'd definitely try the tactic of distancing yourself and not rising to his bait, and see if he does stay in. Who is this supposed friend that he is staying with? If he does storm out and claim to be going there, I'd be tempted to follow him!

I'm pleased to see I'm not the only bunny boiler who might follow him

OP, when he goes out does he tell you where he's going? Which friend? How to contact him in an emergency? As you have a ds I would think it's reasonable to get those details as anything could happen whilst he's away. And every little bit of information you get is information you can test and see if it's a lie...

I'm sorry you're having such a worrying time.

Thank you lovely ppl for advice..
So yea meant to say, & I shud have clicked on really..he used to leave his phone about and not bother, but now even when its charging it has to be glued to him practically.

And another thing he’s never had a passcode on phone...Now he has.
An this ‘friend’ his got apparantly hes known him for years....what really p*** me off is how he snaps when DS(his little boy) or I ask him where’s he been ...
I just never thourght he would do something like this

This doesn't sound good. Any signs of drug taking?

Oh didnt think of that...he has been quite on edge & aggressive recently..

he has been quite on edge & aggressive recently
Sorry but those are more signs of cheating.
He's following the script perfectly.