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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No intimacy

8 replies

Wife2Years · 07/08/2018 20:55

Hi, I am 32 years old, have been married for 2 years. Was dating my husband for 2 years before marriage on long distance relationship. Before me he hasn't had any long-term relationship. Suddenly after almost two years of marriage our sex disappeared, no intimacy for 2 months now. When I asked why, he said he has been watching porn every morning when I left house for work and wanking. Any of my questions why so often and why not having sex with me - he refuses to answer and gets angry. I knew, he told me when we just moved in together, he used to wank every evening before bed as he thought it helped him fall asleep. Then he said he stopped doing that. He used to wank without any porn or anything and now when I discovered he is doing this every morning and several times on weekends, I feel like crap as it's a bit hurting as he must be fantasizing about daily images of girls he is getting from everyday life (he used to always say hates porn he says and not watching it). I don't mind him wanking but not that often, not in lieu of sex with me and not whilst thinking of real girls he can see at work, on the street etc - red flag as that can happen. I feel like I really need to talk to someone and get advice. Please help.

OP posts:
peanutbutterclusters · 07/08/2018 21:00

Is he okay in other aspects of his life i.e work and family? i know sometimes stress can cause loss of desire for sex? do you try to be intimate and get nothing back or is he just not trying at all?

Wife2Years · 08/08/2018 22:23

Not trying at all. He loves his mum a lot, a bit of a mummy’s boy. Don’t know how good/bad he is at work, would guess just alright. Likes to letch when we out, notices every girl around.

OP posts:
Wife2Years · 08/08/2018 22:40

Inclined to leave him

OP posts:
Orlandointhewilderness · 08/08/2018 22:42

God I couldn't put up with a letch.
That amount of porn use is clearly damaging your relationship. He needs to decide if it is more important to him than rebuilding your marriage.

C0untDucku1a · 08/08/2018 22:43

Likes to letch?!?! Bloody hell op. No, thats not acceptable.

Jupiter9 · 08/08/2018 22:44

Why would you masterbate when your wife wants sex? Is he gay?

Rebecca36 · 08/08/2018 22:48

Ditch him pronto!

welshmist · 08/08/2018 22:51

Threaten to tell Mummy. Seriously he has a problem, I could not stay in a marriage like that.

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