Being pushed away? *possible trigger warning re terminal illness??*

[unsure2018]

So I have a friend, who I'm very close to and we've helped each other through a lot of things in the past few years. She has a family member (GP) who has been very unwell recently and has sadly been given only a couple more months to live.

I tried my hardest to be very supportive at first, offered whatever I could do to help her out, childcare if needed for hospital visits, a shoulder to cry on, a coffee and a chat - whatever she needed, which I think she appreciated as she said meeting up and talking about her family member helped her and I was happy to help. More recently if I message or call her to ask how she is or if she wants/needs to meet, she immediately brushes me off and ends the conversation.

Now, I do completely understand this is a very devastating time for her, people deal with things in different ways and obviously I'm not the focus point in her life but I'm concerned for her and how she will cope after her loved one passes.

Does anybody have any suggestions on what (if anything else) I can do to try to help an support her?

Leave it up to her. She may need to distance for a while

I’d be careful about how often you are contacting her and try not to only be asking about her difficult situation. Sometimes people might need to just withdraw for a bit in which case you’re there ready when she needs you again, or might need a banal distraction and to not to be living and thinking about it all the time.

The thing to remember is not to take her behaviour personally. You sound absolutely fabulous by the way and she’s lucky to have you

Thanks both. I am trying to be careful about what I ask her also including asking about the kids and general chit chat but she's said to me previously that talking about them is nice and it helped but maybe it is a bit too much for her right now. I am also cautious about how often I contact her, trying to find the right balance between 'too much' and 'abandoned in time of need' is tricky!!!