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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just can’t have her in the house

27 replies

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 10:19

So, background;

I am a mother of 3

I run my own business which is successful but hard work, as such I spend 10-15 hours a week out of the home doing a very physical job

I also do 5 hours of training a week which I require to be physically able to keep working.

I also have bipolar disorder.

In February, I had been in a depressive state for 5 months, mostly to do with pregnancy of my youngest who, at that point was 6 months old.

My mum lives abroad and visits twice a year. In February we both had a celebration of a life event that her and her husband helped pay for (they are very wealthy)

It was a wonderful weekend of celebration, friends, family and gatherings.

On the Sunday, she took our two children (5 and 7) off to Heathrow to drop off her husband and then return to me to stay for a week.

I worked for four hours that Sunday, arrived home at 7pm and took the baby off my husband who was juggling her and cooking, fed the baby.

Mum came down from upstairs and complained excessively about my room being messy, snatched food out of my husbands hands and complained about it and refused to make eye contact with me.

We’d had a cleaner come in for 5 hours that week to make it okay for her. I was really struggling to hold anything together at that point in time.

I went to bed straight after dinner rather than have an argument with her. She then laid into my husband, told him I was doing a shit job, she managed three children and no support and had a clean house, she didn’t understand why we didn’t just leave the baby to cry, etc etc.

I was pretty upset. I did try, I tried so hard and it just wasn’t good enough.

She left the next morning at my request. It was horrible, I was so utterly depressed and the loss of just mum getting to know our last baby as a baby was really hard. DD is very clingy and in a week mum could have got to know her, maybe given me a chance to have a lie in (she doesn’t sleep well)

But instead it all came down to what a good housekeeper I am.

We’ve just spent a week on holiday with her (in the UK) and today she wanted to come and have lunch here, at my house.

So I’ve spent all day trying to get the house straight, seeing every bit of dust that she’s going to hate, the clutter of 5 people and a dog living in a 2 bed house and just feeling like a complete failure.

I am thinking of just telling her I need to meet her out of the house.

And for that to be an indefinite solution to this. I can’t imagine I will ever look around and think that I have a good enough home for her standards. She lives in an executive apartment in one of the most exclusive cities on earth for goodness sake.

WWYD?

OP posts:
ProseccoPoppy · 07/08/2018 10:23

If you want to meet her (and I am not certain I would want to in your shoes, tbh) then meet out somewhere. Don’t give yourself that unnecessary level of stress. I’m sure your house is absolutely fine (and even if it wasn’t it’s incredibly rude to say so).

Mookatron · 07/08/2018 10:23

You need to be honest with her. I think you're pretty good going on holiday with her after that, was it actually fun?

'mum, let's go out for lunch instead. I feel like it's a house inspection if you come here.'

HolyMountain · 07/08/2018 10:24

Tell her why you don't want her in your house; that she complains incessantly and makes you feel inadequate.

Bowlofbabelfish · 07/08/2018 10:27

Is the house OK (by that I mean basically hygienic and not a danger?) if it’s rats and garbage everywhere then she’d have a point but if it’s just average family mess then she can butt out.

So I’m assuming your house isnt a danger to anyone and it’s just normal levels of chaos. WWID? I’d tell her in no uncertain terms that discussion of the state of the place was out of order unless she wants to pay for or do housekeeping herself.

It’s not 1940. Your worth is not determined by how often you stone your front step. You see her on your terms and if that out of the house so be it.

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 10:29

It’s just really all made me feel fucking shit about myself.

I was on such a high at the graduation, it was so cool to have completed my degree with a good score and for the first time in months I felt actually happy. Then she came and literally ripped my life, home, family all to shreds.

I just never, ever want to feel like that again.

Which I sort of do today.

The holiday was fun but I did have to bloody put my foot down at one point because I was being painted as ‘totally unreasonable’ by her for nothing, absolutely nothing.

Which is really hard when you have mental health conditions so you’re constantly trying to judge whether you’re being reasonable or not, or whether you’re okay or not. So when someone suggests you’re not, it’s really difficult.

Anyway, she’s here for one more lunch and then she’s off until February.

I think I’m going to just suggest we never again meet here at my house, which is a shame for both of us. But I can’t imagine ever feeling good about her being here

OP posts:
CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 10:31

Bowl I have access to a cleaner every Monday, I currently have her every other week because it just isn’t that bad here.

I asked her to come for 3 hours initially but she said there’s not enough for her to do. It is cluttered and the kids room isn’t great but it’s home.

OP posts:
Mookatron · 07/08/2018 10:32

Makes you wonder where your mental health conditions come from, doesn't it...

Honestly this sounds like it's more about her behaviour than yours. Meet her out of the house and then she'll be far away anyway. I know it's not as simple as 'going NC' but I can't imagine hanging out with her is particularly good for your mh.

avocadoincident · 07/08/2018 10:37

I think you e come up this the answer yourself @CantankerousCamel. Say you'd rather meet out somewhere nice for lunch.

I wouldn't necessarily say that's how it always has to be forever more as this will just invite a row. Meet out this time and see how you feel next time. Continue to meet out of the house until (if ever) you feel any differently. Luckily she lives far away so forget her when she leaves. X

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 10:47

I just feel so bloody awful today because there was a hint of a chance of her coming to the house.

I don’t want to feel like that ever again :(

My brother was incessantly abusive, emotionally and physically.

Parents didn’t give a shite about it and would spent their time working or away. If we mentioned it, they would shrug it off. Basically me leaving a cup out of the dishwasher or ‘making noise with a felt tip on paper’ was enough to warrant me being beaten, locked in cupboards and forced to lick spit off the floor.

It was a twisted existence that I’m glad I’m out of, they diagnosed me with BPD for years, but my personality is pretty steady, it’s my mood that is affected.

I manage it well with training and I live a good and full life, but shit like this with my mum just makes me feel like a complete waste of life. Like I will never be good enough.

OP posts:
Mookatron · 07/08/2018 10:54

CantankerousCamel I'm so sorry about your experiences as a child. Flowers

If you can, you could look on this as a positive thing because you've identified a situation that makes you feel awful. There is no need to be able to cope with the situation of your mum coming to your house because you can't control her behaviour when she's there - and it sounds like she doesn't try to either. So you can now STOP this particular reaction ever happening again, because she need never come to your house again.

What a brave woman you are, functioning as an adult and getting a degree with that shit in your past.

Swimminguphill · 07/08/2018 11:00

Cantankerous Camel I find with my mum that when I try and say "Let's never..." after she has overstepped the line it becomes all about me and how unreasonable I am not to let her x, y or z. If I just say "Oh I know the most wonderful restaurant, you'd absolutely love it..." then we sidestep the issue and it doesn't descend into a heart-rending experience for me, or her (she is flawed but not evil). If it makes you feel any better I remember my mum once coming to stay at our house, sleeping in white bedsheets (yes I have internalised her standards somewhat) and telling me in the morning that they really weren't white enough and she would never let them go such a dull colour, I needed to put whitening brightening I don't know what shit in the machine to make them extra sparkly white... so you are not alone :)

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 11:02

Thanks

I need some affirmation that I wasn’t being unreasonable and I agree about the not saying ‘forever’ it will just cause a fight so thank you so much for helping me side step that.

I think I’ll just make it the norm that she meets us elsewhere

OP posts:
peekyboo · 07/08/2018 12:21

I think you need a new cleaner OP. (I know this isn't your main issue, but still...)

Any house could keep someone going for 3 hours a week and one with kids and a dog in it is definitely one that would keep a cleaner busy.

If there wasn't too much to do your cleaner could do other areas. It sounds more like your cleaner is busy elsewhere.

As for your mother, step back. Right back. Meet her if you want. Tell her whatever you like.

Imagine how you'd deal with your own children as adults and realise how lacking in kindness she is with you.

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 12:24

Oh I LOVE my cleaner. She’s kind and lovely and does what’s needed. She gets the delicate balance of self employed so often skint, with the realities of needing someone to help.

I also tidy extensively before she cleans which is so good.

What I need to do is sort, which is ironically what I most miss about having a relative around. Someone to take the kids for an afternoon just so I can properly tidy a bedroom or whatever.

OP posts:
peekyboo · 07/08/2018 12:34

Have you tried Flylady? It's about getting your home in order as a way of being kind to yourself.

I think it's an important point to make that if we struggle with life, for whatever reason, we need to be kind to ourselves. Especially if we have people around us who love to be critical.

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 07/08/2018 12:35

You have my sympathies, OP. My mother isn’t anywhere near as bad as yours sounds, but I can spend days literally scrubbing the place from top to bottom and the first thing she’ll say when she walks in is ‘Oh you probably haven’t had time to clean up but don’t worry, it’s only me’. Whenever we go to her place we get ‘so sorry about the mess’ even though the place is totally immaculate (and she knows it). Meeting in public places makes things infinitely better!

TeeBee · 07/08/2018 12:40

Why are you actually letting her into your life any more? Seriously, I wouldn't have any further contact with anyone who made feel that way...let alone the history you've also had with them. Do they bring anything to you except negativity?

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 12:43

I LOVE my house. Yes it’s a bit cluttered but my goodness, I love my house. It’s a council house so st various stages of repair but it’s ours and we put so much love into it.

We’ve put a wood burner in and this year we found this incredible piece of thick yew we are turning into a mantle.

My house is lovely, it’s just not a bloody show home

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 07/08/2018 12:43

Basically me leaving a cup out of the dishwasher or ‘making noise with a felt tip on paper’ was enough to warrant me being beaten, locked in cupboards and forced to lick spit off the floor.

I'm surprised you have anything to do with your DM at all.

She wouldn't be welcome in my house again.

mimibunz · 07/08/2018 12:52

Geez, OP, you sound very upset and like you would be better off going NC with your mother. If she triggers so much rage in you, then get rid of her.

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 12:59

Rage?

I don’t know what you’re projecting onto my posts but none of them have been written in rage

OP posts:
ginghamstarfish · 07/08/2018 13:04

OP given what you have said about your childhood it is amazing that you have contact with her at all - I wouldn't. You don't HAVE TO have your mother in your life, it's not the law, if she is a toxic individual who makes you feel like shit then just stop contact. If she asks then tell her, or if you find that hard then maybe write to her?

peekyboo · 07/08/2018 13:04

I guess we're feeling the rage on your behalf. Doesn't her behaviour make you feel angry as well as upset?

If you're 'only' upset it could be because you're used to being treated this way, and accepting it? Taking the blame for it, even though, logically, you know it's underserved.

Maelstrop · 07/08/2018 13:05

Basically me leaving a cup out of the dishwasher or ‘making noise with a felt tip on paper’ was enough to warrant me being beaten, locked in cupboards and forced to lick spit off the floor.

Your mother did that this or your brother? I would not be in contact with them following this. You do not need them in your life, especially with your mother’s ridiculous standards and her lack of understanding.

CantankerousCamel · 07/08/2018 13:06

Maels

My brother.

My parents were neglectful rather than abusive

OP posts:
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