Advice please! I have spoken to a friend today and heard some truths that I think I needed to hear. She also suggested I have a look on here, so here goes!
I have endured this for far too long and I can't cope anymore. I have a 24 year old sister, lives alone, who still can't manage her own life. For as long as I can remember, she argues with everyone and can't stick to a single friend for very long. She has a big problem with authority, has had 6 jobs and has been sacked from each and every one of them for the way she speaks to people. She's on jobseekers allowance, in debt and falling behind with her rent. I have taken over her financial affairs as she can't seem to grasp the concept of "you can't spend what you don't have". She has treated my Mum and Dad (divorced) and I like absolute crap for years, physically and mentally. All of us have tried, paid off her debts, and tried to get her to realise what her responsibilities are.
Everything has failed.
It's getting to the point where I spend valuable time (I have a 20 month old daughter and live with my partner with my own family life to manage) arguing with her on the phone for hours about how she can't afford to go to concerts or out on the lash, and that she should be paying her rent with every spare penny she has!
But then I am made out to be the horrible person, I'm being sworn at and called every name under the sun. Almost every telephone conversation ends with me cutting her off because she screams down the phone, shortly before I burst into tears. I cannot mentally cope anymore, and I want to cut all ties. But I just can't seem to get the courage, and I can't help but feel guilty, that she's my little sister (18 months younger) and she's my responsibility, and that I'm helping my mum and dad by doing this for her. I manage her finances mostly via online banking, and my parents aren't able to do that. I get phone calls to my workplace demanding that I transfer money into her account there and then, and I have to take time off work to sort her problems out, and get zero respect or thanks in return.
So I guess that I'm just looking for encouragement/reasoning/words of wisdom/kick up the arse as to what to do. I don't want my daughter growing up around this, I feel that my time and energy should be spent on my own family rather than on a toxic grown up teenager who thinks that the world owes her an easy life. This has also got to the point where my partner wants nothing to do with her, and it has caused a rift between us, I just don't mention her name to him anymore.
Thank you for reading this if you got this far! Bit of a rant... sorry!