why do men think i want to be the ow?

[1moreRep]

I genuinely want advice or some sort of insight into why men behave on a certain way around me. Basically they try and rescue me, befriend me and then try it on. Now it wouldn’t be an issue if they were single but usually they are married.

currently i’m in the early stages of dating a lovely guy but this has happened through my life, even when i am in relationships.

i don’t cheat on people and get genuinely shocked and upset when these men try it on- as it offends me that they believe i would be ok with them hurting their partners and feel like the entire friendship was fake / feel used.

I am friendly, sporty (so talk about the gym etc) and treat men and women equally (as how friendly i am etc). It happens a lot, recently i was mentored by a guy at work and thought he was brilliant- really admired him and then he ends up trying it on (told me he had decided to leave his partner etc- which i didn’t believe but was absolutely shocked) The same week my carpenter tried his luck - also married with kids. it seems we have a conversation, get on like i would with a woman and they decide i am someone who is willing.

i also get messages on instagram from men who i work in the same field as who i know are married giving me compliments and then trying it on.

i just don’t understand why i give off these signals that it’s ok to try it on etc. i always ask about wives and children to them, i have 2 dc and talk about them.

It's nothing yo do with you op. To put it crudely it's just a set of holes they want at, you as a person is redundant to these men.

Before we married DH and I belonged to a social group of 3 other couples who were all married. We spent a lot of time together over several years and even holidayed together. I got on well with the husbands but was closer to the wives. I'm not the flirty type and never have been, just not my thing because I'm very loyal by nature.

But all 3 of the husbands made a pass at me at some point Usually alcohol was involved (them not me) but it was awkward and embarrassing. I never told DH and was relieved when the friendship fizzled out.

Not surprisingly 2 of the couples are now divorced and the other couple look totally loved up all over FB. Except I still remember the things the husband said to me one night not that many years ago and the look on his face as he looked at me