Work Issue

[Netopia]

I am a woman who is parenting my 5 1/2 year old daughter alone. I am separated from my husband who is the last person I had any kind of sexual contact with (6 years ago).

About 18 months ago I was promoted in work and was moved to a different branch of the company in a managerial role. I had been 10 year in my old job so made lots of very good friends in my time there.

In my new job I guess I am a little less distant with my co-workers. While I get on well with the staff I am their manager in a lot of cases and I did not move jobs to make new friends. Many of my co-workers have my mobile telephone number. One of my female colleagues who I am relatively friendly with has my number would often send me whatsapp messages after work to perhaps to carry on conversations we had during the work day. I did however come to understand that she was a lesbian and that she was "interested" in me. I had come to dread even the most insignificant messages from her and normally found a way to tail the conversation off to an end.
A few weeks ago she sent me a link to an article about how to know that you're in an abusive relationship. I assumed she was referring to my husband beating me up. He is many things but certainly being any way abusive is not something he will ever be accused of. I managed to avoid her in work that week and have been off for a couple of weeks since then.

Today as I prepare to go back to work I received a message from her which I can only describe as an essay. In it she tells me that she would never go near me as I sleep around - supposedly I am having an affair with a guy from my old job who occasionally calls to our office and I have coffee with. He apparently is the one I am in an abusive relationship with. And she has told senior management that I am this horrible person who is having an affair and perhaps even worse - an affair with someone who beats me.
I actually couldn't breathe after I read this nonsense. So what even of I was having an affair what is it to do with her but who has she told this craziness to. I was looking forward to going back to work tomorrow and now I have this rubbish hanging over me.

I did not dignify it with a response but this cr@p has really upset me. Not to mention has she being going around saying that one of my good friends is abusive.

I just wanted to put this in writing and see if people thing I'm off the wall here or has anyone dealt with a similar scenario.

Bloody hell. I presume your first actions tomorrow morning is to have a meeting with your boss or HR? You NEED to take action on this! She is clearly deluded and you need to shut this down through the official channels. Bring i copies of her contact to show HR and write down everything you can remember, with dates if possible. Good luck.

I'm not sure what to do.

It's not helped by the fact that my line manager is gone on 3 weeks holidays.

Every time I read the message I focus on something new. She is going to beat up my "lover" if he approaches her. I wouldn't even think he knows who or cares who she is.

As said by @thingsdogetbetter straight to HR to make a complaint

If she has sent the messages via WhatsApp you had better screenshot them now because I think the sender can now delete messages. Then as pp says get in touch with your HR dept first thing tomorrow and report her and forward the photos of the messages. Let them take it from there.

If your line manager is on holiday you go to their line manager or HR. This will NOT improve by ignoring her, that's just making her escalate. She's threatening to beat up your friend. She's clearly nuts, decidedly jealous and potentially dangerous! Do not ignore, do not confront. She will try and twist everything and get you in shit at work. She's already tried to undermine you by saying you had an affair with a work colleague. Christ only knows what she'll come up with next. You need to protect yourself! And that means HR or manager.

Good thinking. I must save our whole conversation from day 1

Deludedly jealous, not decidedly jealous. Bloody autocorrect!

She sounds like a dangerous and deluded stalker. You have to deal with this as it will only escalate.

Yes, go in and tell them how scared you really are of this woman.

Very worrying! Definitely talk to HR and someone senior. This is slanderous and quite threatening.

Tell her this is untrue and you do not want any further correspondence. Then block her.

If she keeps trying to contact you and/or you feel unsafe at all, contact your local police station.

Sorry OP, what a horrible situation for you

Geez she sounds nuts

I'm with everyone else. Screenshot the messages and go straight to HR when you get to work. If your line manager is on leave then go up a layer.

Do not delay. Treat this as urgent.

I need to stop reading the message as I think reading it she has reported me for something I said about her. I fully expect to get the tap on my own shoulder tomorrow.

Please try not to worry. However make it a priority tomorrow to escalate this

She is someone for whom the word "unhinged"was created.

Definitely escalate this to HR.

Email he for an appointment first thing. She sounds dangerous.

Definitely talk to HR about it, call them immediately you get into work and set up a meeting.

Personally I'd email HR tonight saying you need an urgent appointment first thing. Go with all evidence.