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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Strength can be a lonely place

0 replies

Theycouldhavechoseneve · 06/08/2018 19:16

At the weekend I met an ex of my partner of nearly 2 years at a celebration of the life of her mum who has passed. My bf was very close to the whole family and knew her before they became a couple, many years ago. She was lovely and we got on brilliantly. My bf loves her deeply but not “in love”, that ship sailed for them both years ago and I don’t doubt the genuine love and affection they have for each other is nothing more. I noticed when my bf spoke to her his face lit up in a way it never had with me. I told him (not in a jealous, accusatory way) and he said he’d supported her through cancer and a double mastectomy some years ago and felt a huge bond. I admire him for that but it made me think. I don’t have an vulnerability and despite his ex being an absolute firecracker, does he feel that bond because of her vulnerability? I have v low level depression from time to time which is rarely acknowledged by those close to me (I do have support from some, as I think those who know, know). I don’t mean for this post to be about the lack of empathy for mental as opposed to physical illness as I’ve accepted that and ensure that I provide other sufferers with all support I can, but the experience of the weekend has made me feel that strength and emotional independence is a lonely place. It was the same during my marriage. I think my post is a statement, rather take a question to be responded to, but it feels a bit better for having articulated it.

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