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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can’t stand my sister’s boyfriend

2 replies

Qazqaz1234 · 06/08/2018 17:12

Hello lovely peeps - first post and looking for some advice on a delicate situation.

My sister started dating her boyfriend about a year and a half ago. She ditched a lovely guy for a greasy metaller who rides a Harley Davidson bike and is a member of a Hell’s angel group. He’s ignorant, loud, obnoxious and worse of all racist.

You need more evidence well I have met him a half a dozen times each time he has drunk about 4-6 alcoholic drinks then driven my sister back on his bike. He also won’t keep his hands off her in public like she is property it makes all of us incomfortable. This bad behavior came to ahead at Christmas when my mother challenged him on his drinking. He shouted and and left taking my sister ( who hid during the exchange). He then drove her home rather than take a taxi. 3 days later she tells us she’s over three months pregnant.

I met up with my sister and her boyfriend and tried playing nice. I asked if they were going to get a car and he said no I want a new Harley Davidson and he did indeed buy a brand new one. My sister has now given birth and she has no mode off transport and lives out of town.

We want to see her as she’s just had the baby but we just can’t stand him. Even five minutes is too much as he deliberately goes out of his way to belch, fart or say inappropriate things so he can laugh at them.

As her brother I want to have a relationship with my nepthew but I think it’s half his and he’s always there! How can I handle this?

OP posts:
Modestandatinybitsexy · 06/08/2018 18:02

I think you've just got to suck it up. If you want a relationship with her and your nephew there's bound to be times you can't avoid him and it's not fair to exclude them because of his behaviour.

Can you make plans just to see her and the baby? Maybe pick them up and take them for coffee/lunch?

MoggyP · 06/08/2018 18:17

See your DSis and her DC when the undesirable DP is not there.

Remember, she chose this DP, and presumably likes him. If that all changes and she needs help, then having family who did not fall out with them and to whom she can easily turn, could be the most useful thing.

Can your DSis drive? If not, pay for lessons for her (from whole family if necessary to make it affordable) and see if she needs help to get and run a car. Then she need never ride pillion with a drunk driving ever again.

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