Reposting here for traffic:
In April NDH told me he wants a divorce. He said he'd continue to provide a home and food until the September term starts. Since then, a shitload of emotional abuse toward me, but no movement on divorce.
He initially said the children and I could stay in the house, and he'd leave. He's changed his mind. Also, if he isn't on the mortgage, I don't believe our mortgage company would allow me to stay on what i can earn.
I hate living with him. I've applied for so many jobs since April, and am getting no interviews so far. Most are way below my experience (I'm even considering an apprenticeship), but I've been out of the workplace for 11 years so am applying for anything I have the experience to do, no matter how junior. I have a disability that makes it harder, as certain jobs/hours make it worse. I hope to get some interviews soon, under the guaranteed interview scheme - problem is you don't know if you're being interviewed because they want to, or 'cause they have to. I'm working really hard on the applications but am struggling with feeling low. No routine GP appts have been available for weeks.
NDH is very controlling and trying to insist on my working certain hours. I have put him straight on that. I haven't claimed JSA because I've been told I can only claim for state pension contributions.
I'm pinning everything on getting a job, saving what I can, and moving. I will apply for social housing, but with my name on the mortgage & deeds (although, as nDH loves to point out, only he has paid into this house) I don't think I'll be successful. I would have liked to move and have children settled before the new term, but it ain't happening.
Is there anything I should be doing to move things on? I'm considering taking out a specialised loan to pay for proceedings, has anyone done this? Feel like I'm stuck in limbo, trapped. It will be way better for my MH, and my relationship with children to get us out of here and in our own home.
Ideally I'd like to buy a shared ownership place (rarer than hen's teeth here), but they'll be gone by the time we get divorced.
It came totally out of the blue for me (his family are delighted), and his behaviour is escalating. Atm I have a pause, but that can/will change. I can't relax and need a break from the CONSTANT judgement.
I've seen a solicitor who said it's better to stay in the house, but why is that?
Please be kind in your responses, I'm feeling a bit fragile at present (not helped by crap sleep for 3+ months).