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Original poster

How to respond to being stood up?

23 replies

JillyArmeeen · 05/08/2018 22:52

Guy I've been seeing was supposed to be coming round for dinner tonight.
Text me a couple of hours before, he's not coming sorry too tired.
Obviously this (quite unconventional, not serious thing) is over. I don't want to see him again, I'm bored of it.
I feel the need to have the last word and draw a line under it.
Without sounding needy or spiteful.
Funnily enough I tried to draw the line a week ago but he pulled me back in.
I can't let things drift. I want it over.

OP posts:
TurnipCake · 05/08/2018 22:53

Tell him you're also too tired of his shit, perhaps?

Original poster
JillyArmeeen · 05/08/2018 22:58

Ha thanks turnip. At the minute I've just ignored him.
I'm not upset about it, other than wasting a kid free night and bit of a bruised ego from him messing me about, perplexed as to why he would say he wants to see me when he obviously doesn't, maybe he's getting something out of it but I'm not anymore and happy to move on.
Just hate leaving things hanging.
I need to close the door.

OP posts:
SmileSweetly · 05/08/2018 23:00

'Hope you had a relaxing evening, I've given it some thought and I don't think this is going to work for me, all the best for the future.'

Or....

'After having some unexpected time to myself after being stood up by you this evening, I've given this some thought, and realised life's too short, it's really not going to work for me. So just wanted to drop you a message to say bye.'

Chalady · 05/08/2018 23:00

Wait until he texts again,

Then reply "Who is this?"

Then obviously never ever text back after that one.

HollowTalk · 05/08/2018 23:04

Send two texts:

I'm tired

Of you

dangerrabbit · 05/08/2018 23:06

Like the suggestion of “who is this?”

Original poster
JillyArmeeen · 05/08/2018 23:09

Smile thanks I will send something along those lines.
I don't want to be unkind, or snippy with him.
Who's this won't work for me because I don't want to feel like I'm waiting, don't like games and don't do hints.
I need it to be finished by lunch tomorrow.

OP posts:
dangerrabbit · 05/08/2018 23:11

Why do you need to say anything to him at all? Could you just block and delete?

MaisyPops · 05/08/2018 23:12

Something like, whilst you suggested you wanted to make a go of things a week or so ago, on reflection this isn't working for me. I thought I'd let you know and we can both move on.

Original poster
JillyArmeeen · 05/08/2018 23:15

Arggh he's messaging me now apologising again.
Why? Why is he dragging this out.
Talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk. What is the point?

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 05/08/2018 23:16

Tell him you're done with it.

You don't need a man who will beg you yo stay and then stand you up. It seems like a childish way of him feeling wanted and chased by a woman. He needs to grow up.

Meltingwax · 05/08/2018 23:17

I wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of thinking that you are upset or miss him in any way. I would send a short, polite, clear message saying that it's not working. Then block him and move on. Dignity intact. Let him see what he has just missed out on - a relationship with a woman with self-esteem and who will not let herself be treated poorly. Snippy messages would probably just make him sigh with relief that he had a lucky escape.

peekyboo · 05/08/2018 23:18

That's all you need to tell him: there's no point carrying on, we're done.

If you want to finish it then do. It's up to you whether you get drawn back in or not.

And who cares who has the last word? You're not 15 year olds eyeing each other while you wait to go into PE.

Tiredspice2 · 05/08/2018 23:18

Nah, just ignore him. He’s wasting your time.

toddlermom · 05/08/2018 23:20

A simple "this isn't working for me. Take care or other niceties...". It's nice to have closure I know!

Joysmum · 05/08/2018 23:21

Apology accepted but you’d better hope the next lady you muck about is just as forgiving. Good luck!

Chalady · 05/08/2018 23:26

Arggh he's messaging me now apologising again

He's probably just got in from another date a bit tanked up.

Ignore the fool.

ThinkingCat · 05/08/2018 23:28

I tried to draw the line a week ago but he pulled me back in

It sounds like he wants to keep you as an option. So he can mess you around, but if you try to finish it, he'll 'pull you back in'.

He stood you up. You ignored him. So he sends an another apology.

I think I'd keep ignoring him. He's just wasting your time.

SuperSuperSuper · 05/08/2018 23:29

"Hi. Don't worry about cancelling, it's fine, these things happen.
However, this isn't really working for me, I think we should end it. All the very best for the future."

Scabetty · 05/08/2018 23:30

Had a sort of similar thing in the days before texting so had to talk to him. He called after numerous rain checks due to busy work life Hmm. I said basically I respected his commitment to his work but this didn’t work for me. I had turned down alternative plans to see him at his request and felt he should not attempt to have a relationship while he was at the beck and call of his employer. I took no excuses ( and some begging) and hung up. I met my dh a few months later.

Original poster
JillyArmeeen · 05/08/2018 23:36

It's done. Silly bugger said he's back from his holiday next Thursday if I want to see him Confused
No thanks

OP posts:
SmileSweetly · 05/08/2018 23:41

'New phone, who dis?'

GrinGrinGrin

IndieTara · 05/08/2018 23:42

OP you haven't been stood up you've been cancelled on.
However it does sound like a lucky escape

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