So long story short. He was emotionally abusive. If he ever did anything wrong it was some how my fault.. he twisted it to make me the crazy controlling girlfriend. Since the break up he's not been better. Worse if anything in the way he is. But it's less often as I avoid what I can In causing arguments. And just get on with it. He's said lots of hurtful things etc.. I tried for 2 years before I could no longer try with someone who didn't care about the relationship.
Now we have 2 young children. 2.5 & 1.
So I'm not sure if it because we have children and because I'm struggling as a single parent.. but I miss him.. am I crazy? Sometimes I just think I should let him do what he wants so I have company and the children have their dad here. And a "happy" family.
I've recently met someone who has expressed their interest. And I do like them and it may eventually (I'm not ready for someone new in my life yet!! For a couple years at least..) become something. But even this I feel guilty about.. like I'm cheating on my ex.
As far as I know he's not seeing or seen anyone. And he still says he loves me. And wants us to be together. He says he's trying to help make it work but when it comes to it he really doesn't show it. Well that's why we broke up he did everything against the relationship. Not anything to help it!
I do still love him in some ways. But after the past I'm not sure I could ever love him the same. Even if by some miracle he could change.
Am I crazy. Will this pass..?