Advice on ex's girlfriend

[Felicityx01]

Hi all,

My child's father broke up with me while I was pregnant for his current girlfriend, it has been so hard for me to adjust that we will never be a family. My DS is 7 months now and my ex's parents told me that my child's fathers girlfriend is quite obsessed with my son.. don't leave him alone etc, think his mother was just trying to make me angry, I do feel so uncomfortable by his girlfriend playing step mum to my son and I have never met her! They went to the zoo today and played happy families, got to admit I was a little upset as it's wrong and it should be me there, anyways I'm trying still accept it, and i cant help but feel bitter towards her as my ex left me for her and she was breaking up a family, I want advice on this.. shall I meet his girlfriend and be civil? Or just stay clear from her? I would like to hear some experiences of yoyr childs father girlfriend and how you dealt with it and moved on
Thanks

This is such a hard situation for you.. especially with your DC being so young. it will inevitably be painful for you and I really feel for you.. I hope someone with more advice will come along soon but all I would add is she will never replace you as your DS's mom and it's better she's nice to him than be difficult/unkind to him. It is so so early to have met your son (at such a young age) but you can't change that now.

Personally I think meet her if you're comfortable to (without your ex there imo!) - I get on rather well with my DPs ex most of the time and we talk regularly about the kids. I think it's better that way but that's just me and their kids were much older. It will get easier I'm sure!!

I don't mean to be harsh, but he's made his choice and sadly it wasn't you. Instead of wishing it was you there on a family day out use the time that your DS spends with his dad to do something you wouldn't normally be able to do: go for a coffee with friends, get your nails done, even have a long bath and watch a box set.

And yes, meet the gf. And try to be nice, even if it's through gritted teeth, because your DS will benefit if all the adults in his life get along.

I’m literally going through the exact same thing and was going to post about it!! I’ve been up all night crying over it.

My ex met his new girlfriend 4 weeks into my pregnancy. It’s been extremely taxing time. The girlfriend hasnt been very nice to me but she is nice to my toddler: I hope your partners girlfriend is nicer to you if you meet her.

My ex’s girlfriend has met my toddler but not my son who is a month old, she will meet him when he is older. It breaks my heart the thought of my ex & his girlfriend playing happy families with my kids & I’m left managing a teenager, toddler & newborn on my own, stressed off my head & broke in a foreign country.

The jealousy, bitterness & anger are normal. But don’t let it take over. It’s ok to mourne the family life you dreamt of, I know I do. But it’s important to try & remember why you broke up & also your baby gets the benefit of someone extra to love & cherish them. Your baby only has one mom. No one will ever replace you. Their love for you is unconditional. Our time will come too when we will be happy. Try focus on that end goal xxxxxx

They are not playing “happy families” in reality - I am sure that the GF would much prefer to have your Ex / her BF fully to herself.

I had an ex with a baby daughter and I loved looking after her. Her mother never met me but I'd rather meet anyone who would look after my infant.