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Original poster

Pondering...

14 replies

PatheticNurse · 05/08/2018 19:16

Not sure where to post this so have put it here.

STBXH and l split June 2017 after l found out about his OW.

They now live together and have our children EOW and some of the school holidays.

Should l start buying the OW birthday and Christmas gifts from the children or should l leave that to their Dad?

OP posts:
userxx · 05/08/2018 19:18

Leave that to Dad. He brought in another person, he can bloody well buy for her.

NotTheFordType · 05/08/2018 19:22

Absolutely leave that to dad. His ex deserves to know what a shit parent he is.

Original poster
PatheticNurse · 05/08/2018 19:31

I'm just so torn with thinking - sod him he can do it (which I'm sure he does as he is desperate for them to be a family unit), but then equally thinking that l want the children to see that we can all have a good relationship

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 05/08/2018 19:34

How would that be having a good relationship?

jelly449 · 05/08/2018 19:37

@PatheticNurse oh please do not do that! That is not your responsibility at all.

All you need to do to show a good civil relationship is the following:

  • don't slag the ow off to your kids
  • be polite and civil when you are all together.

The end.

Buying presents for her is going wayyyyy to far.

Sally2791 · 05/08/2018 19:39

That's up to him. Great that you thinking about it, but not your issue

Alfiemoon1 · 05/08/2018 19:59

Leave it to him

Yutes · 05/08/2018 19:59

Agreed. She’s his partner. He can and should encourage the kids to have a good relationship with her. You only need to be civil to her

Original poster
PatheticNurse · 05/08/2018 21:11

@NotTheFordType - by showing the children that l am appreciative of her efforts with them

OP posts:
Original poster
PatheticNurse · 05/08/2018 21:13

Thanks everyone. I won't start buying them.

I just wondered if l should as it was her who sorted my Mothers day gifts this year.

OP posts:
userxx · 06/08/2018 21:35

She cheated with your husband then bought you a Mother's Day present. Nice of her 😬.

Cawfee · 07/08/2018 08:05

Whoa....
Way too far and weird boundaries. I suggest you see a therapist to help you with setting boundaries around this new family dynamic. You can be polite and non-aggressive about her but you do not have to start buying gifts from your kids! That’s just weird.

Original poster
PatheticNurse · 07/08/2018 09:09

@userxx yes. She made cakes with DS2 for me which were laced with poison were really nice! She does make good cakes.

OP posts:
Original poster
PatheticNurse · 07/08/2018 09:11

I just saw it as her making an effort and wondered if l should do the same ...not cakes as I'm a rubbish baker!

OP posts:
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