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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP embarrasses me

20 replies

sarah81 · 01/06/2007 16:57

I have just had a "raised voice" discussion with my partner, i'm not sure if I'm in the wrong or not so I wanted to ask you people what you thought.

Basically we've been together about a year and I thought it was about time I introduced him to my family as I have met his. I knew he had a habit of saying "off the wall" things but I didn't think he'd do it in these circumstances.

So we went for a meal last night, me, DP, my mum, my grandad and his wife and my brother. The first thing he said was in response to something my grandad asked him, he asked him "have you seen the new shopping place they're building across the bridge?" just to make conversation I think...DP replied "no, I can't go across there" my grandad asked why and DP stated "oh, it's a gang thing" , what he means is his group of friends don't like going across that part of town but he thinks it sounds better if he pretends its "gang honour" or something stupid. My uncle just burst out laughing, my mum gave me "the look" and my grandad just looked confused.

There were other similar comments all night, my grandad made it obvious that he wasnt impressed and my mum was embarrassed, my uncle was just ripping the piss out of both of us.

I know full well now that the entire family would have heard about the dinner and what an idiot my DP is and what an idiot I am for getting with another "wierdo".

I broached the subject with DP when we got home and he just laughed it off, today after I'd calmed down I mentioned it again and he flew off the handle saying if he's so embarrasing I shouldnt invite him out to dinner, the thing is he didnt say those stupid things for a laugh, he meant it...he really likes to believe he is part of a "gang" etc, its bloody ridiculous and he doesnt realise how stupid he makes himself look.

Am I making too much out of it?

OP posts:
Desiderata · 01/06/2007 16:59

Um, is he twelve?

CrispyNoodles · 01/06/2007 16:59

Is he 14 years old?
If he's any older, then no, you are not making too much out of it.

CrispyNoodles · 01/06/2007 16:59

Ah, I typed 12, then replaced it for 14 to give him the benefit of the doubt!

doggiesayswoof · 01/06/2007 17:00

Erm, what age is he? 12?

wannaBe · 01/06/2007 17:00

yes. If you don't like the way he acts then end the relationship. But if he's happy with the person he is then good on him. we can't all be the same.

doggiesayswoof · 01/06/2007 17:00

lol x-posts

mumto3girls · 01/06/2007 17:01

I think you know what action youmust take here....sorry if he's a nice guy but WTF??!!??!

He is laughable.

lulumama · 01/06/2007 17:01

it is half term !

i would be mortified

then i;d bin him

Desiderata · 01/06/2007 17:02

Great minds think alike, though, eh Crispy

wannaBe · 01/06/2007 17:03

but it's obviously the person he is. Yes childish I agree but if he doesn't see there being anything wrong with his behavior then tbh I would leave him to it. after all he wasn't rude or offensive to anyone was he? he was just saying things that you felt were embarrassing. if he embarrasses you then why not end the relationship and move on to someone who you accept for the way they are.

doggiesayswoof · 01/06/2007 17:03

I really hate all that fake macho stuff (or real macho stuff for that matter) - agree it's v daft, not a positive example for kids etc - I don't think you are making too much of it. If it was me I'd be seriously thinking about ending this relationship.

Also, if your family's opinion means that much, I would suggest your feelings for him are maybe not that robust?

doggiesayswoof · 01/06/2007 17:05

I mean, if you were head over heels, would you care what anyone else thought of him, even your mum?

Mumpbump · 01/06/2007 17:06

Agree he sounds young, but if you're embarrassed by him, then I agree that it probably says more about your feelings about him than him than anything else!

Greensleeves · 01/06/2007 17:09

He sounds like a numpty. I'd tell him if he can't behave like a grown-up in company, either shut his cake-hole or bugger off out next time.

Mind you, I would probably stamp on his foot/flick his ear to send the point home. Not in front of the children, naturally.

doggiesayswoof · 01/06/2007 17:10

Greeny, would you give him just a light tap?

nogoes · 01/06/2007 17:11

As wannabe has said that is his personality you can't change him and he was only joking at the end of the day, I hope?

I know what you mean, dh has a very dry sense of humour which I don't completely get even though we have been together for 19 years! Some people get him and think he is hilarious and others just look at him like he is insane .

Greensleeves · 01/06/2007 17:11

No, it would have to hurt, otherwise there would be no point, would there?

CrispyNoodles · 01/06/2007 17:11

desiderata, great minds do indeed think alike - and at exactly the same second too seemingly.

doggiesayswoof · 01/06/2007 17:12

Ah yes, of course. And it's all for his own good after all.

ahundredtimes · 01/06/2007 17:13

Oh dear. Perhaps it was a bad joke? Sounds a bit of a strain, meeting ALL your family in one go and having to talk about shopping centres and things.

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