Can you forgive a cheater and how do you do it?

[Cardi0307]

Is it ever okay to forgive a cheater? And where would it even begin? How can you forgive that?

OP if you have been cheated on before, then forgiven that person and they cheated again, you of all people will know how things generally work out. You could stay and it is not certain he would cheat again but the odds are very much in favour of that happening.
If you have no kids or ties, seriously, just walk away.

What is HE doing to prove himself to your.

I don't think it is down to you to forgive him, it is down to him to prove that he won't behave it this again. Him to prove that he respects you, to rebuild your trust that he has broken.

It can't be a one way street with you forgiving and him not putting in more work to rebuild the relationship.

See how you feel in a year, some can get over it, some can’t and some feel in a permanent under the surface sense of it not being quite the same but for various reasons soldier on and I suspect do leave but a few years down the line

I tried to stay as had children, but it hasn’t worked. Just too difficult. And I think now he kept seeing her despite his protestations. Awful.

My advice is to move on now,, it’s so,painful, but trying to make it work will be infinitely worse.

You're only 18, you haven't been together long and you're off to university soon. Bin off this loser and enjoy your youth. And when you're ready to settle down, remember you deserve much better.

No no no. I forgave two of my ex's after they did the dirty on me and they did it again. A leopard never changes it's spots.
After leaving my kids dad once he did it to me, I felt SO much better and being a single mum for almost 6 years were the best years of my life!

Did he say it was an accident too? You've never 'accidently' landed on another guts dick.

He's not worth the effort. He wouldn't have told you if you hadn't caught it and he would have continued shagging her. Think about that before deciding to forgive him.

Guys* my phone hates me today.

Where does it says the op is 18? With no children I think i would leave

I forgave my exh for a 3 month affair as we'd been going through a rough patch and hadn't had sex for a long time. Things were much better after that, for a while. But ultimately he had another affair and ended up leaving me for the OW when our daughter (planned) was a few months old. He and the OW are still together and have 2 children. I think in the circumstances of the first affair, I could understand why he did what he did. I was actually more upset about him having an emotional relationship with someone else than the sex. If I hadn't forgiven him then we wouldn't have had our amazing daughter, so it's hard to regret that. But I never did trust him again and haven't been able to trust anyone since.

Alfie OP has another thread running about this

Argh thanks for explaining thought i was missing something

You're a teenager with no kids. You're overthinking this. Move on. Enjoy yourself, get out and about, meet new people. By all means "forgive" him if you want, but don't carry on seeing him.