Dealing with emotionally abusive parents

[AlwaysbeLilith]

I don’t want to give too many details as they may be identifying if family members etc see.

I have been out of work due to severe MH issues. I have however been looking for jobs that I may be able do whilst not making my MH a worse. I am on medication and see my GP regularly. I have mentioned some home problems to them but they haven’t offered any advice.

Basically most days are a torrent of verbal abuse, name calling, belittling me to the point I don’t want to do anything and then getting it worse because I am not doing anything. I shut myself in my room and get told off for it, but if I go out I also get told off for that. Parents have been this way since I was very young - sometimes really nice to lure a false sense of security and then switching. If I get upset I am mocked for getting upset and they say that it’s all in my head.

It’s only now I am realising the very real impact this had on my teenage years/early adulthood. I have no money to move out and cannot private rent without a deposit and a guarantor. I won’t pass a credit check. I do not have anyone that I can live with or stay with for a while.

I am nervous and frightened most of the time of doing something wrong in their eyes and getting in trouble for it. I can’t function. I feel like I can’t carry on. I have been told to find somewhere else to live. I am on council housing list but very low priority so very slim chance of me getting rehoused within the next few months. Could even be years if I’m being realistic.

What can I do? I know people are going to say get a job and save up etc but it isn’t that simple. I am limited to the work I can do. I am on ESA in the support group. It would take me so long to save up a realistic deposit as I don’t have a guarantor a lot of private landlords/agencies want 6 months rent upfront!

I feel like I literally have no hope and it terrifies me. I can’t see a way out and I feel like I am going to be bullied to death.

I'm sorry no one has replied.
I don't really have much advice but can only offer my sympathy that you are going through a hard time.
You have got the ball rolling by reaching out for help.
Take care

If you're low priority for housing and over 21 then yes it would be years before being housed.

Realistically, what are the prospects for you being able to get a job? If you can get a regular income then you can get a houseshare a hell of a lot cheaper than a private rent.

Have you reached out to any mental health support charities for advice? Also, how about referral to a talking therapy service, specifically with the intention of working with a counsellor in regards to being able to set boundaries with your parents and learning to disregard their behaviour. None of this is a quick fix though I'm afraid. So sorry, your situation sounds very difficult, big hugs to you.

Oh, you could also explore whether or not your mental health condition would give you extra priority on your housing application.

I also don’t have any great advice just sympathy. But just give yourself small goals a job would be a start , be strong you will get your own place eventually even if it’s a year or 2 then you have the rest of your life away from those have horrid people. Good luck

Could you contact some mental health charities and ask for advice? Like someone said, a room in a shared house would be a huge step forward. Or even a hostel of some kind? - sorry, I know that’s not ideal but you said you were being ‘bullied to death’ - you need to get away from your abusers as soon as possible.

Do you have an elderly relative who would be willing to give you a room in return for a bit of shopping/cooking/company.

I really feel for you, You need to get away from that much nastiness if at all possible. Big hugs

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I think there is hope in every situation and there is always a way through.

I think you need to to move out as soon as possible. Could you go to Citizens advice and ask them for help with your situation. You will be entitled to things like housing benefit and maybe other benefits. You may find that once you are away from the abuse you have described that you may feel more positive and are able to start to do many things which at the moment feel impossible.