Would you buy your mum flowers?

[ProfessorGrammaticus]

I work part time and in school holidays my mum and dad will often have my 2 DSs for a day or two to stay. The DSs are quite easy at the moment (ages 8 and 6, not boisterous children) and everyone seems to thoroughly enjoy the arrangement. And of course I get to keep my job and not have to find holiday childcare (yes, Xenia, so does DH... )

Now if a friend ever helps me out in the holidays (which happens once or twice a year) I always turn up for the boys with flowers and/or wine, and profuse thanks. If it's my parents, who love to see the boys, I do the thanks but not the gifts. And I'm just wondering.....

A bunch of flowers, or a potted plant is a good thing to give your mum, any day of the week.

Once in a while they would surely like them...

Although, I am sure my mother would grunt, 'you didn't need to'.

I do, intermittently.

Do as you would be done by. And I LOVE getting flowers so I send them q reguarly.

Mmm. Think I knew the answer really. Feeling guilty now!

I would definitely give flowers, nothing too showy but quite a big bunch, and say as you give them how grateful you are of all her (and his!) help. Don't take flowers every time, maybe some nice biccies or chocs every now and again, or get the kids to make something nice if they're into that sort of thing. At birthdays and Xmas I would then get an extra pressie as a thank you for help that year.

Don't feel guilty!

Have turned over new leaf. Just back from flower shop (I work right next door ). Songbird that is lovely advice. Suppose I just always thought that they love seeing their DGSs and focussed on that...

Not to say I've NEVER done anything, you understand, just not every time.

Will struggle with the thanking for all help bit, don't do well at expressing feelings to mother...

Still, I get that from her

I would send flowers to show you appreciate the help they give you. Maybe at the end of the holidays would be a good time.

Yes. She loves them.

Although, my dad is a very keen gardener and as they live in a warm climate where things bloom all year round, their house is usually full of flowers.

I'd buy them flowers. It's a lovely and kind idea. No kids but my parents push the boat out on other things (and yes, they annoy me too!) and I might need them for babysitting one day . Doesn't have to be flowers - a book they'll like, pot plant, box of Roses, bottle of wine if that's their thing? It's about showing that you appreciate the help. Forgive me for coming over all "Amelie" - I'm NOT preaching, I mean it philosophically - but maybe if we all did little things like send a card or buy a £4.99 plant from M&S for whatever reason and so did our DH/DP's we wouldn't need "Relationships" threads

I am guilty of not buying my mum that many bunches of flowers though, I have to admit!
Your parents sound really helpful though, so if I was you, I would do, just to show I really appreciate their help.

Like the Brownie promise - do a good turn every day - think you're right. I'm NOT taking the piss!

Nice thought woodmouse but a nice M&S plant is hardly the solution to most relationship problems! (if only...)

I tend to just buy occasional gifts for my parents, such as a bottle of wine or a photoframe with a new pic of the DC's. They wouldn't expect it every time but it's nice to do it occasionally.

Message withdrawn

They are really helpful, PC. And they live 1 1/2 hrs travel away!

I buy my mum flowers more often, now that my dad isn't here to do it.

Sometimes ds (15) will buy me flowers, which I think is lovely and thoughtful.

I'd give flowers too. You sound just like me ProfG - I've never had a very open relationship with my mum (yup, learned that from her, just like you) and it extends to thanking her for stuff. But my dh has 'helped' me to see the light over the last couple of years. I even sent a thank you card the other week for some help she'd given us - she said 'you shouldn't have sent that' but i could tell she was pleased...

Doggie do you feel that now we are "the adult" - as in

The other thing is, if you do this for your mum now, when your boys grow up they'll know that's what they're supposed to do! Or their wives might anyway . My brothers are bloody useless.

I would.