OLD - does it actually matter about pics?

[LanguidLobster]

I've never done it before (I haven't dated since 2002 ) and think I will give a local dating site a whirl.

All buoyed up with enthusiasm this morning I took a face pic of me in a black knee length coat which happens to have a detachable hood and thought I'd deal with a full length pic looking nice and smiling later. (Only hood shows in the photo.)

I ran the face pic past a close friend of mine who is quite sophisticated and her response was 'dahling, you're wearing a hoodie. Think about the lighting, and your hair should frame your face'.

I don't think this matters though does it?? It's not a hoodie hoodie, coat is quite smart actually, just wanted to give an accurate face pic then I'll get around to a full length smiley one in due course.

I'm not trying to look pretty, just look like me. I wouldn't mind too much if I don't get much response!

Yes the pics matter a lot - most people will make a snap judgement based on your profile pic in an instant.

Have you got any pics of you on Facebook or similar that you could use? I tend to go for the pics of (blokes) doing stuff rather than the blatant selfies. So pics of them on the beach, out hiking etc.

And definitely more than 1 pic, showing you in a variety of different scenarios.

Sorry, OP, I agree with your friend. It will photograph as a black hoodie, not as a smart black coat. What is your best colour?

Yes it’s all about the pic

You're wearing a coat - am assuming you are not in the boiling hot part of the UK??

Yes photos are important!

Fraid so, the photo is going to be what makes people look at your profile. The main one ideally a happy-looking face.

That you're wearing a hoodie isn't a problem in itself, but the picture is (I'm afraid) basically the most important thing on your profile.

Choose a couple which are recent, accurate and relaxed - look like your best self - and show you having fun. Selfies are OK, but try to show a range.

Agree with your friend & the majority here. The photo is crucial

The only thing that matters are the pictures. Most of my friends on OLD have no written profile at all - just a couple of photographs. In turn, they don't much care what the men's profiles say - they are swiping on pictures using in a 1 second judgment call.

It's all that matters for men. There are stats on okcupids blog that prove it.

Might be an age thing, but I always got comments from serious offers that showed they had read my profile. And I always read their profile with the standard Mumsnet red flags in mind :) but I only looked at the profiles of men who had the basic wherewithal to put up a non-blurry photo of themselves, not looking miserable as sin, not taken in a bathroom mirror with the toilet on proud display, and not caressing their car. Because I know I would not get on well with anyone who failed that basic test.

Yes photos do matter! My fiancé had a photo up that I wasn’t keen on but there was still something about him that intrigued me! When I actually met him I thought he was gorgeous and his photo didn’t do him justice! His profile was interesting and was the But others who messaged me I’m afraid I rejected because they were not attractive to me. You do need some attraction! I agree that photos matter more to men though.

Oh ok then. Back to the drawing board.

This seems like a lot of effort!

I'll get nicer pics this week. I do feel like I have to defend the 'hoodie' though, it's quite a nice one for a hood (I was only wearing one as I went to the shop very early and am terrified about getting nose dived by the seagulls on our roof, it was a little hot wearing it).

New photos ahoy. At this rate I'll launch in 2019.

I've never tried online dating, but getting the right pictures would be harder than it seems at first glance. You want ones that are flattering, but yet aren't too fake looking and also realistic enough so people won't feel cheated on first meeting you.

You should also include a full body shot if possible, so people can get an idea of your body type. If you're heavier than you would like, it is unfortunately not a good idea to try and hide it.

It's not about the hoodie, it's just that people will make the initial decision based on what you look like so if you have a picture where not much effort has been put in, people will scroll right past you.

Different type of male perspective here: when looking at profiles, obviously the photos need to suggest a minimum level of physical attractiveness before I will delve deeper but, beyond that, it's all about the self-description.

If I see "ask me" or no description at all I will assume the writer is lazy or has nothing about them and swipe left.

If an effort has been made to stand out from the crowd with some unique prose and insight into what the woman has going on in her life, I will most definitely be intrigued enough to make contact...

this seems like a lot of effort!

Yup, I'm afraid OLD is basically a lot of admin. You have to write your own profile, source good pics, spend time sifting through other people's profiles, write opening messages, weed out weirdos, respond to one's you like, deal with time wasters, etc etc.

Are you sure your heart's in this, OP? You said before "I don't care if I don't get any responses" - do you actually WANT to try OLD, or is it something you feel you "ought" to do? If you're not ready /interested, then you don't have to do it. If you just want to be able to say " I gave it a go but it wasn't for me" then think about who you are trying to justify yourself to?

OLD can be great, but you also need a thick skin, a good sense of humour and be feeling resilient and secure. It can be a dispiriting grind and you should have your bullshit detector turned up to max. I would never recommend it to someone who is looking for a "boost" or wants to feel better about themselves.

Looks have never been what has attracted me to someone, but when it comes to OLD it's the main starting point.

A nice natural, friendly smiling one is best I think. I've discounted many who are great looking but look grumpy or overly sultry (if a man can look sultry!)

When I did old I had one close up on my face smiling and made up on a night out, that was my main pic. Then on my profile I had about 4 more full body pics in which I wasn't wearing make up. In some my hair was styled, in others just tied back. Pics were of me out with friends, and doing various hobbies (like hiking, or places in I'd been travelling to). I didn't want to use photos that made me look my best, but ones that made me look like myself and gave an indication of my interests. All taken within the last year or so. But they were still "good" pics (taken in good lighting, smiling, looking at the camera, not hungover etc etc). Good luck.