Can a man be too nice..not used to this

[blackheartsgirl]

Split from abusive ex a few months back but relationship was over a long time ago. I started dating a fella i worked with and we were friends outside work anyway, we have a shared hobby. He is lovely, and considerate, has bought me a few things, weve really clicked but then we were friends anyway and we live about a mile away from each other, he has grown up children, my youngest is 8 and he has put me under no pressure about things or meeting our families..in short he is completely normal..too normal

Im freaking out because he just seems normal, im not used to someone not being volatile or aggressive, able to sort his own shit out, can drive, have his own house

I half expect him to flip and turn on me and shout, push me about and i have explained some of this to him and all he does is hug me and says well work through things together.

I keep thinking..too good to be true..are there normal decent men out there

I found a decent dh at last.
6 year son he is still decent!!
Never raised his voice to me.

Ever.
Never made me feel less than amazing!
Ever.
Been a fab addition to mine and the dc's lives!

I’m sorry that you’ve had such a bad experience of men before.

Yes, there are nice men out there, who are kind, considerate, competent and decent.

There are lots of fantastic men out there who are just normal, and not abusive. They might have annoying habits like untidiness or chronic lateness or a tendency to waste money, and I'm sure in time you'll discover your new bloke has some.

Have you looked into doing the Freedom Programme to reset your boundaries and learn to recognise the signs of abuse?

Black hearts girl I had the same. I didn’t know what a normal relationship was! Almost two years in and he is still very loving, caring, cuddly, understanding and generally great! It takes getting used to but in time you do!

Glad it is going well but it is early days so take it slowly...truly think it can take 2 years to know someone well.

You have to hit issues to know it can be talked through..most people are still on best behaviour a few months in.

Just keep your standards high and boundaries strong.

My advice , as someone who has rushed in too quickly into my second marriage to find that he is verbally abusive and an ex husband who is so controlling the courts won't allow him to see his son for 5 years, is to enjoy the moment. Don't worry about the future and whether he's too nice just enjoy it while it's good. You will see true colours as no one can hide their real self for too long. Enjoy - sounds like it's about time you had a bit of fun

Yep, had panic attacks for months after I met DH because he wasnt making me miserable, been married 20 years, they are out there!

I know he has faults who doesnt, i work with him for a long time and being with him feels right.

I think as well hes so physically different to ex. He was a 6 foot stocky strong nasty person wheras new partner is 5 foot 4, slim and smaller than i am, i just cant get my head round that he seems nice

Yes early days i agree

Yes, there are people who are non aggressive. I actually do hope that most are that way.
I know dh is. There are some other things I am not happy about but he is not aggressive at all... and I have been with him for years.

I am sorry for your bad experience and hope you found somebody who is truly different.