confused about relationship and how I feel

[kickball]

I feel annoyed and not happy quite a bit of the time. And I don't know what to do about that.

We've been together coming up for 5 years. Own houses though spend more time at mine as it's bigger and more comfortable plus I still have DC at home although young adults.

We both work ft. My job is stressful and busy and requires travel at certain points of the year 2-3 nights away in other parts of the UK.

Sorry posted too soon. So working long hours and being away doesn't leave me a lot of time to get shit done.

And this seems to be the problem. He isn't happy if when he's there I'm not spending time with him. Let's say we sit down to watch a film and I have to get up to hang up washing or take something upstairs he's not happy. We together repainted some garden furniture earlier in the summer, i meant to keep it covered but this week I was away and forgot, and now it will need re doing. So he moaned about that. I said I cant fucking do everything. There is only me. To which his answer is well maybe I shouldn't have got the furniture if I already have enough to do. I feel like I cant win.

It’s not your job to make him happy, and it’s not your fault if he’s not happy.

Sorry this has become an essay! He does help with the odd thing around the house, he will cook, but I do everything else which is fair I suppose as it's my house.

Our sex life is pretty non existent. All my previous partners were pretty much 3 min wonders (if that) who didn't care much about my enjoyment. He is the opposite but also it takes him.a lot longer to get there himself, if even he does. He seems to lose his erection multiple times as well which is not something I've experienced before. maybe it's age or the fact I'm less attractive than when we met. He feels frustrated, but i wouldn't exactly say I'm over the moon about it either. Our sex life to me feels awkward and that's not great is it?

It's clear when he's not happy. The whole atmosphere changes. He seems to think that if he's there i have to spend all my time with him or he might as well go home.

When we're away from home this doesn't seem to be a problem.

It sounds like be needs someone more available than you are. Neither of you are unreasonable.

I'm not doing anything 'extra though, I'm not going to the gym or evening classes (I don't have Time!). I'm just trying to keep a household going. All the jobs I need to do take a lot of Time, that plus my actual job means I always have a massive list of stuff to do. I'm not sure what he expects. Or how he expects me to do it otherwise.

I'm not sure how we move forward really. Surely life stuff is something everyone has to do?

I think "life stuff" is what destroys most relationships more than anything else. He is sort of right though. Spending time together is more important than getting all the washing hung up. Perhaps he could do some of the chores? Or you can say look I have to do this and then we will cuddle/watch tv/talk for an hour before bed.