How do you stop caring?

[boobietrucks]

Just that really. My parents have been extremely controlling my whole life and I'm literally sick of it.
I'm sick of the emotional blackmail if I don't do everything their way.
I'm sick of the guilt I feel when I haven't even done anything wrong! They made me feel like an awful person for making my own decisions.

I don't enjoy their company anymore but don't want to go nc. But how do I control my feelings of upset when they give me the silent treatment if I say no to them.

They behave like selfish dicks sometimes but I can't just stick to my guns confidently without feeling extremely anxious afterwards, not sleeping properly, feeling generally stressed. I don't let them see that and they think I'm stubborn but it's a constant cycle. It's fine for a few months and then the next thing will kick off and we're back to square one.

I'm having a c section in a couple of days for dc2 and they have already started, angry that I don't want visitors right away and want to see how I feel first. I'm embarrassing to the wider family because they will have gifts for the baby and it's rude not to invite them round straight away.

They were awful when dc1 arrived. This baby may need surgery when born too and I'm having surgery myself so I don't think I'm the worlds biggest bitch for wanting space for a few days!

My "DM" is very anti breastfeeding and will make me feel on edge. Last thing I want when trying to establish breastfeeding my newborn.

Sorry for the rant, if you've made it this far- any advice?!

I had to go nc, and I still care, I just can't deal with the level of stress that made up most of my days - followed by the high stress on the days when I was an evil daughter for some reason.

I'm not sure why you don't want to try nc? It doesn't sound like you're getting anything back at the moment and do need to focus on yourself right now.

Why do they not want you to breast feed?
Do they feel that it is too much especially if you will have had a chance section?

C section I meant

Peekyboo I'm not sure why I don't want to go nc just yet. Probably because I know I'll feel worse. I also worry about stopping my dc from having a relationship with them because they are nice and loving to her.

Violetfeather no my mum didn't do it and she just thinks formula is better. Although she gets defensive over the subject so I'm not sure if she regrets not trying it when we were babies. My sister has just had a baby and formula fed from the start too so I'm the only one who likes the idea of breastfeeding. I've got nothing against formula and would happily use it if I had to but I'd prefer breastfeeding from the start if I can.