Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

When to sleep together?

32 replies

Sunshinepimms · 04/08/2018 07:21

Wanted to get a general jist of when the average time was to sleep with someone. How many dates would you say? I've had 1 formal date with this guy and then I've been at his but just a kiss happened. I made it clear I didn't want to sleep with his just yet and take it slowly.
But just curious as to what other people think when it comes to them? Do you have a rule or just when it feels right?

OP posts:

Diana62 · 05/08/2018 13:21

We didn't have sex till we married, but please at least wait till you have got to know him really well and the relationships is strong. If he wont wait then he isn't worth having.

Nothisispatrick · 05/08/2018 13:29

I think it was about a week and a half with DP. But then we never really 'dated'. Went from nothing to full blown relationship within a few weeks of meeting.

If he wont wait then he isn't worth having.

What if you don't want to wait? It is not always the case that men are just after sex and waiting for the woman to 'give in'. Some women enjoy sex too.

Lizzie48 · 05/08/2018 13:33

My DH and I didn't have full sex until we were married, that was because at that time we both accepted the Christian teaching about sex before marriage. We had a lot of sexual contact before then, though.

Mind you, at that stage I'd buried all my memories of my childhood SA, apart from flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms that made sexual intimacy very difficult.

I don't really know why it really mattered so much now. I think it's best to wait until you're in a long-term relationship, though, with someone you can trust. (Although how the heck you can ever know that, well I have no advice to give on that question.)

adoggymama · 05/08/2018 13:36

When you both want to. Consent on both sides is all you need to worry about!

HolyPieter · 05/08/2018 13:48

When YOU want to, not when he wants to.

Original poster

Sunshinepimms · 05/08/2018 14:43

Yes 100% when I want to. I have already said I don't want to rush things between us and his reply was fair enough, that's a good thing. So I think he is a good one!

OP posts:

CherryPavlova · 05/08/2018 14:50

I think when you’re ready to accept the consequences of sex as a couple and take shares responsibility for any complications. I would say when you had built a trusting and mutually respectful relationship that was committing for the longer term.
I personally think casual sex and one night stands are horrible and detrimental to society.

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.