He doesn’t want a child

[Feelthethunder]

Been with my partner over two years.

We both have children from previous relationships.

I’m desperate for another child but he doesn’t want one. There’s always an excuse “need to get our ducks in a row” “we can’t afford” and today he’s just said “I don’t want one”

To me it feels like we’re uncompatable, I was born to be a mother, and as much as I love my DC I still would like to have another. I don’t want to get too old to have one and look back and think “I could have been with someone else and had another child”

I just feel sad. Everyone around me is having children and I can’t make it happen for me.

Concentrate on the ones you have. Blended families are complicsted enough, he obviously doesn't want to make things even more complicated

Did he tell you he didn't want any more when you got together ?

If you really want different things then there's only one answer really. If you've got your heart set on more kids and he's adamant he doesn't then .... Time to rethink your relationship maybe !

I'm sorry but I'd leave - life is too short and if you're certain that another child is what you want then you can't live a life of longing. It'll lead to sadness and resentment.

Not a nice situation, but at least you recognise that you want different things.

No, he never mentioned it.

It wasn’t something that we really spoke about at the beginning but it’s been playing on my mind a lot and I’m ready for it now.

He seemed to think that due to me having a child I’d not want another /:

Well if he definitely doesn't want one then you have to decide if this relationship is worth missing out on having another child. If it is then make your peace with it and enjoy your children and step children, and if it isn't then you have to leave. It's unfortunate that he didn't tell you this at the outset but you have to do what's best for you.

It sounds as if you both had different expectations, rather than misleading each other.
If your relationship is otherwise good, I wouldn't bother splitting up, you don't know what any other man would be like, especially towards your child, how the family set up would work, why risk whqy you have for a child you may have

Ive wanted to be a parent since I was about 3 years old. All I ever thought about was being a mother, it’s something I thought about everyday until I found out I was pregnant with my DC.

I can’t explain that feeling but I feel like I pine for another child.

You're feelings are strong for another child so there's no way but to end it. You can't force him. There will be resentment either way

As someone with infertility issues I have limited sympathy.

But you have to decide if your biological urges are really that strong to leave your otherwise happy (?) relationship to seek a sperm donor, or stay with a good partner and accept that you've already had all the children - probably more - than the Earth can cope with.

Personally I couldn’t stay. There are some things I could compromise on; if my now DH didn’t want to get married it would have been upset but I’d rather be unmarried than without him. But children is another matter, you’d only resent him eventually.

This isn't something I could compromise on. It's always sad when a relationship ends but it appears you are not compatible.

We’ve had a little discussion. The thing he’s worried about is if we broke up, he feels that he would be stretched thin having to travel to two places to collect the children. I can appreciate where he’s coming from as it’s a reasonable thing to worry about.

I don’t feel like we would break up, we are a really good couple and get on wonderfully. We are on the path to get married so we have a future, I suppose I just want everything now.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and adore the children we have now and I’m grateful for them.

Maybe I need to stop being impatient. /: