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Relationships

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Old family life reflect on him?

4 replies

hairfever · 01/06/2007 10:54

I'm wondering if the way a person was brought up would reflect on who they are as a person later on in life.

For instance I have been with someone for around 9 months, he recently told me that he has never been on holiday, never been abroad or anything like that, does not own a passport but apparantly neither of his parents have ever been abroad, been on holiday or own a passport either, the only "holiday" he ever had was when his mum took him for short breaks to butlins as a child but his dad would never go with them.

The way their family works is that all 3 of them work, his dad comes home from work first and sits and watches TV for the rest of the night. Then my partner comes home, goes in his bedroom and plays on the xbox/computer for the rest of the night and finally his mum comes home and has to cook everyones tea or just orders a takeaway and she sits and watched TV or occasionally goes for a drink with friends.

They seem to lead such a boring, depressing life but it seems things have always been like this for them.

DP says he doesnt want to end up like his dad but it seems to me that he's already like that, sits and watches tv for hours and does sod all else unless I natter at him.

So although he doesnt want to end up like his dad, is it inevitable that if he ever moved in with me we would end up like his old family life?

OP posts:
PetronellaPinkPants · 01/06/2007 11:07

Of course it does!
We are all formed by our experiences. However some people may choose to break the mould if they don't like it.

What do you do together that is different

have you talked to him about this? I mean about the fact that he purports not to want to end up like his parents but is doing nothing to ensure that doesn#'t happen

dolally · 01/06/2007 11:07

Well, yes I would def say upbringing has an effect on their adult life. BUT depending on the person's nature they can recognise and want to change what they know was wrong.

How old is your dp? Does he have any outside interests? Is he shy or just lazy. Perhaps the way to test this is to see how he responds to suggestions of yours to go out, take up a sport, go to evening classes, take a cheap minibreak abroad...etc..

kerala · 01/06/2007 11:43

My DH is so utterly different from his parents (except in looks) I swear they found him under a tree. They are quiet, anti-social and negative. He is the polar opposite, as is his brother.

So it doesnt necessarily follow that he will be a product of his upbringing. However he is showing worrying signs..Agree with dolally's idea about making suggestions to see which way he will leap.

themoon66 · 01/06/2007 11:47

How old is your DP? Perhaps if he moved out of his parents' house he might start to alter his ways. Perhaps he just behaves as he does so as not to disrupt his parents' routine.

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