Instagram

[herewefuckinggoagain]

Can't figure out if I'm being a paranoid insecure asshole or if I need to trust my gut....

With DP over a year. He travels a lot with work and it involves a lot of socialising. Recently I've noticed on Instagram that on nights out he has started to follow and like photos of attractive skimpily dresses woman out in the same town as him. I felt uneasy but said nothing.

He is currently in X place. He posted a photo with #town a few days ago and then liked a photo of a woman who used same hashtag. Today, four more likes of bikini type shots with same hashtag. I sent a message saying I don't like it. To me, it's a blatant way of interacting with people who can see he is in the same place and can easily direct message etc.

I just would never act that way. He says he's done nothing wrong and it's no different to noticing someone walking down the street. But it is! Because by liking the photo you are telling them they are hot. Plus I've just checked the woman he followed and liked last week and he has deleted his likes and unfollowed her... if there was nothing in it why would he do that?

Xh cheated on me and I really really don't have any tolerance for fucking about. Am I being insane? Or is this off?

I would not put up with this. I would finish with him if it were me! He is being massively disrespectful.

I don't trust my own reactions anymore

Bump

Is it possible he unliked and unfollowed because you told him it bothered you and he has realised it is unfair to you?

sometimes we have to trust our instincts and gut feelings on things :(

He’s behaving like he’s single. No way would I put up with that!!

No - I checked just before I sent him the message

Bang out of order!!

He is behaving like he's single. He was single for a long time before we got together. I don't think he will have actually met anyone or anything but it's that old familiar sick feeling when you start to get suspicious or see something that raises a flag

We have such a great thing! Why the fuck would he risk it all for nothing...he knows how absolutely zero tolerance I have of anything dodgy. Is this dodgy or just insensitive though?

I seriously think OP some guys just cannot help getting a buzz in these dodgy ways, it’s almost like a sport , oh and some women are like this too by the way , I think the whole on line dating and social media thing as well has made it like a permanently open sweet shop for some

I've told him it's not okay and I won't be disrespected. Wtf do I do now . I really love him. My kids love him. We were talking about moving in together. It's definitely the best relationship I've had.

Maybe he's doing what he always did as a single man, without any idea of how inappropriate his actions are, now that he's in a relationship. As he's unfollowed her and deleted his likes, I'd forgive and forget this time.

It's upsetting you, he sees nothing wrong and will keep doing it. Do you want to be policing his Instagram activity every time he is away? You will have no peace in this relationship.
I would suggest ending it, although I appreciate it's easier said than done when it's otherwise good. To me there is a good chance he's cheating anyway though.

A year isn’t long.
The deleted one it could have been her that deleted.
I get requests from guys who pertain to be single. The conversations we have often clarify this, plus they have come from tinder. Then they post a picture of their partner or kids. So I delete.

It happens more than people realise as they sit at home gushing about their perfect relationships

Sounds dodgy and disrespectful to me OP. Especially as he is aware of what happened with your XH. I think you need to tell him, straight up no room left for confusion, how this makes you feel. If he's apologetic and immediately stops doing it and doing whatever he needs to, to make you feel secure then all good. If he doesn't then get rid. The relationship is still in the early days and you should be happy and secure not anxious. I would suggest holding off moving in together for a while as well, at least until you are sure he's the kind of man you deserve (a good, dependable, kind man who respects and values you).

Thanks all 😣

He's just ignored me since he read my last message