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Original poster

Friends or partner

17 replies

chattyemma · 03/08/2018 11:33

I need some advice

18 months ago I meet a guy at a kids soft play (zone in Cardiff) he was there with is 2 daughters and I was there with my DS and DD. I didnt realise that he was in my year in school because I didnt recognise him at all.

It was packed in there and he had a table to himself so I asked could I sit down because there is no more free tables (he said yes), we started talking and I was really attracted to him tbh looks I would say 6 or 7 out of 10 but personality and humour I would say 20 out of 10 because he is that sweet, kind, funny and everything else to go with it also my DS told me recently “mummy when ant is here your always smiling” and I worship the ground he walks on.

It was like the fist time he came over the house to meet the kids he was sat on the floor for 2 hours playing board games with them also played dolls with my daughter and football with my son.

We had a night out with a few of my friends last Saturday night and he went outside to smoke (which I hate but he does not do it around me or any of the children and has breath spray in his pocket at all time) and call his kids to say good night (like he does every time he is not with them) and a friend of mine followed him out telling him that “I am only with him because he has money (runs his own business, nice house and nice car) and that I am waiting for something better to come along because why would someone like me be with a guy like him”. So he got upset by this and said he has a emergency and had to go home. On Sunday he avoided my calls and on Monday he said to me what happened but wont tell me what friend said it (when I find out which one I am going to kill her) and said he need time to himself to think about the situation and if he can do this anymore but I don’t want to loose him and neither do my children and I just don’t know what to do

OP posts:
yearofreckoning · 03/08/2018 11:56

I don't think there is much you can do apart from give him the space he needs and hope that he is mature enough to see that what your friend said was out of spite or jealousy. If he ends the relationship because of what she said , then he was probably not the one for you .
And as the friend who said those things , cut her loose or keep her at arms length, who needs enemies when you have a friend like her Hmm

Good luck Thanks

CrispsAndDip · 03/08/2018 11:56

Have you asked your friends?

Is it possible that he has made this conversation up for any reason?

Original poster
chattyemma · 03/08/2018 12:12

CrispsAndDip he was really upset by this when he told me and I do believe him

OP posts:
sparklequeen18 · 03/08/2018 12:16

That's awful - you need to find out which so called friend said this and GET RID of them.
Whilst it's not your fault this has happened, he does need reassurance that you are genuine about things and I think you need to show him how much you do care. Whether this is done with a gesture or just letting him know repeatedly that this isn't the case, he needs to be told and told until he believes you.
As women we all know how awful it is to have trust issues or to doubt somebody and we know how much it takes to turn it around.
Just make it known how much you care and I'm sure it can be resolved.

Good luck xxx

Sunflowersforever · 03/08/2018 12:58

I'm confused.

The question is, do you want him as a partner or friend? I'd suggest you give him an assurance but be clear if it's as a friend or partner to be.

Original poster
chattyemma · 03/08/2018 13:04

sparklequeen18

it was like Monday 2 weeks ago I had the day off work and he was down mine working on his laptop not in his home office (he does this on my days off work and if he has not got his kids) and I borrowed his laptop (stole when he was having a pee) and looking at school uniform for my 2 and seeing how much it would cost then looking at my bank balance and said woops!! and he just paid for it with out me asking for help or him not knowing what's in my bank cos that's the type of person he is.

I would never ask for money off him at all and I just dont want him to think that

OP posts:
Original poster
chattyemma · 03/08/2018 13:06

@Sunflowersforever

one day I want to marry him because that's how much he means to me its just the problem that a friend of mine has caused

OP posts:
cakecakecheese · 03/08/2018 13:19

Whoever your 'friend' is they are out of order but I'm not thrilled about his reaction. Yes it must be upsetting to hear but it's not your fault someone you know decided to be a bitch, if he believes what they said then he's not as great as you think he is.

Sunflowersforever · 03/08/2018 13:47

For goodness sake woman. You've met someone who makes you, happy and smile so much your son mentions it. You love him, he clearly loves you. You're both dithering about and then some arse of a friend puts a nasty spoke in and frightens him off, riddled with doubt about your real feelings.

FFS. Tell him how you feel. Sort it out. Kick the friend, when you find out who they are, out of your life.

Life is too short etc etc. Don't let him slip away

Gratz · 03/08/2018 14:00

With friends like that....

hellsbellsmelons · 03/08/2018 18:35

Good grief what bitch your friend is.
I'd be doing a whatsapp group and telling them all how out of order it was. That you love this guy and saw a future and they've ruined it.
All the friends who didn't say anything will let you know that and you can find out who did it.
And tell her to fuck off out of your life.

In the meantime - go round and talk to him if you can.
Tell him what you've told us.
And that if he is going to let your 'friend' ruin this then he isn't the man you thought he was.

Original poster
chattyemma · 05/08/2018 11:37

Sorry I have not given a update with what’s going on so here it is

On Friday evening I got my mum to babysit for a hour and I went down to talk to him. And we talked about the night and how we feel about each other.

After that he gave me a set of keys to his house and two door name plaques with my kids names on them and said “I got 2 empty bedrooms upstairs (5 bedroom house)”. At that point I had no idea what he was on about so he had to spell it out and then I said yes.

So now I been given the name of the ex friend who has admitted to my what she said and has been told to never contact me again.

I’ve contacted my landlord and given him 30 days notice that I am moving out and because the house i am renting is furnished I have not got that much to move (like hell).

There is one thing that is my son said to me when we move in what do we call him meaning my partner, so I said what do you want to call him and he was not sure. there dad left 3 and half years ago and not been seen or paid a penny since. The rumour is he might be in Germany working.

So now I can not wait to be our own little blended family

OP posts:
Thinkingofausername1 · 05/08/2018 14:55

Sounds like your friend is jealous! And it's time to ditch her. Who would say something like that, unless they want to cause trouble

Sunflowersforever · 05/08/2018 22:26

Whoop whoop.

Well done you, and enjoy your happiness

yearofreckoning · 05/08/2018 22:30

Fantastic news OP@chattyemma . I wish you a lifetime of happiness GrinWineGrinGrin

hellsbellsmelons · 06/08/2018 10:10

What a lovely update OP.
Things are moving on and I'm so pleased for you both.
I'm glad you found out which 'friend' it was a well.
Exciting times!!!

Orlandointhewilderness · 06/08/2018 10:19

Aw he sounds like a keeper! Hope you are all very happy together.

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