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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please ladies....

7 replies

dolphin34 · 03/08/2018 08:52

I think I need to end my 2 year relationship with a man I am in love with.
I was recently pregnant at lost the baby at 7 weeks

I have two children from my previous marriage

This man is not nasty or abusive or mean to me in any way but there are ways that he acts that I don't think are normal.

When I lost the baby he said he was sad....but he went on with his plans for the day...I was a lump of tears on the floor with no one to hold my hand.

He is not affectionate with me at all doesn't hold my hand when we are out never kisses me and in bed everything is very one sided....it's all about him I have called him out on this one and he has nothing to say

He has social media which is fine I do too but he wouldn't be my Facebook friend and actually deleted his Facebook so I wouldn't bring it up again. We do follow each other on Instagram but all his photos are just of him and he has even gone as far as to crop me out of pictures and then post them. He also follows a lot of sexualised accounts on Instagram which I have called him on every single day and he laughs and says ssssssh

I have never met anyone in his family and only one of his friends.
I was asking him about previous relationships and how they ended and we got onto a conversation about how he was out with his ex and their friends.....hmmm why do I not go out with his friends etc

He tells wierd lies about stupid stuff and it makes me feel crazy . He made up a lie about working one night, he sometimes works as door staff, but his story did not add up and it turned out he was going to watch a boxing match which if he had just said would have been fine! Weird thing is he went to watch it at a pub 50 miles away and stayed over when he could have just watched it in the local so I still don't really know the whole truth on that one.

I find myself stalking his social media to find out if he is lying all the time.....and this isn't me I don't normally act like that I'm pretty laid back!

OP posts:
LuckyBug89 · 03/08/2018 09:06

I think it's pretty obvious what needs to happen.

You don't trust him (understandable), he's a liar, he's selfish. The man sounds like a twat. Do yourself a favour and run away!

LTB

DarklyDreamingDexter · 03/08/2018 09:10

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. However from what you describe, it's a good thing you don't have a child to tie you to his man. After 2 years, you've never met his family and friends and he cuts you out of photos on social media? Sounds like he is just using you as a booty call. No evidence of any affection. Your instincts are correct, move on and find someone who wants to be with you and not keep you hidden.

WasFatNowThin · 03/08/2018 09:24

You know you need to get shot of him.

RatRolyPoly · 03/08/2018 09:24

Do. not. ignore. all. these. red. flags.

Seriously.

Flowers for your miscarriage, I hope you're looking after yourself better than this heartless waste is looking after you

dolphin34 · 03/08/2018 09:37

Thanks for all your replies it's just really validated what I thought and now I know I'm not crazy thanks. I.will.get.through.this 💋

OP posts:
Anonymumm · 03/08/2018 09:44

I feel so sad reading this - you deserve so much better OP.

You will get through this - bigger and better things are waiting for you.

So sorry to hear of the loss of your baby, carry your baby in your heart, and take good care of yourself.

dolphin34 · 03/08/2018 09:53

@Anonymumm
I know I deserve better and his actions really confuse me
He says the right things he says he loves me and when I was pregnant he was excited and everything but his actions tell me such a different story
Every time I call him out on something or ask him about his actions he says I'm being moody and mean to him

OP posts:
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