Hello all,
I just came on here to seek advice. I am going through a very, very difficult time.
I am mother of a new baby and a 2 year old girl, and shortly after the baby's birth, my husband assaulted me violently. Violence has plagued our marriage for many years and I stupidly kept on thinking it would get better. I am also a first generation Turkish woman, born and bred in Portsmouth, but my husband is from Turkey. My husband has assaulted me on numerous occasions during the pregnancy and this most recent one was just the last straw for me. He didn't just hit me, he beat me up and I had only given birth a 8 weeks earlier via C-section.
I guess I had been showing signs of PTSD after the attack, I was so nervous, jumpy and also in a lot of physical pain. The police are involved and have charged my husband. In the meantime, I fled to Canada but I took the right legal steps and consulted a solicitor who approached my husband to sign a statutory declaration form giving me consent to travel with the kids. So I am currently in Canada for about 3 months. My husband does not know where I am exactly and who I am staying with. Thank God he never asked.
Anyway I am due to return next month and it is filling me with dread. My husband is pleading not guilty despite the photographic evidence, etc. He is on bail but has breached his bail on various occasions by trying to contact me. Each time I ignore his messages.
Both his and my lawyer set up a conference call so he could have skype contact with his daughter. He never showed! Hasn't spoken to her since the incident. He hasn't even sent any money for her upkeep, even though his lawyer advised him to.
I keep getting emails from family members (his side) begging me to drop the charges and now they have gone to other members of my family to try and persuade them. My family have blocked them all.
My friends are begging me to stay in Canada and try and get help. I have felt so much at ease being here. Not looking over my shoulder, sleeping better, eating more. Kids are happy. It fills me with dread coming back to England. I start getting anxiety attacks. I have counselling with Victim Support in Canada. I know Canada are always looking for skilled immigrants (I am professional on their skilled workers list). My skill set is very much needed.
However, I could get in trouble if I remain in Canada and do not consult my husband to stay and keep the kids. I am so fearful about going back. My community think I am crazy for even involving the police and I should just work things out!!! But I am glad I reported it to the police! But I just don't want to return.
Is it worth me approaching Social Services out here? Coming from Portsmouth can I really claim sort of asylum status due to domestic violence? I really don't want to have any trouble with the law back in England by just keeping the kids in Canada without any legal backing.
I honestly don't think my husband is right in his head and isn't thinking straight. I am worried what he will do. He has already done so many dodgy things already. Like sitting in front of my sisters house for no reason. My sister lives 45 minutes away from us on a quiet street!!! She had to call the police who just said that so long as he isn't talking to her then he has the right to be there.