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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Unfaithful before marriage

32 replies

Ava1984 · 02/08/2018 14:39

Hi all 😊 im new to all this. Im basically going to keep it short. Im married 5 years and have a beautiful baby girl. With my husband 16 years. We got together when i was 17. We hadd some really hard times over the years but when i was about 22 i was unfaitful(10 years ago) . I could never bring myself to tell him. 2 years later we bought our forst house together and fast forward we are now married. I adore him and would be lost without him. We are at a stage in our lives that we are so so happy and content but i cant help feeling guilty over my past actions and feel i dont deserve to be happy. I don't know how to overcome this.

OP posts:
Bassie28 · 18/06/2022 15:03

Ava1984 · 02/08/2018 14:39

Hi all 😊 im new to all this. Im basically going to keep it short. Im married 5 years and have a beautiful baby girl. With my husband 16 years. We got together when i was 17. We hadd some really hard times over the years but when i was about 22 i was unfaitful(10 years ago) . I could never bring myself to tell him. 2 years later we bought our forst house together and fast forward we are now married. I adore him and would be lost without him. We are at a stage in our lives that we are so so happy and content but i cant help feeling guilty over my past actions and feel i dont deserve to be happy. I don't know how to overcome this.

Hi. Sorry to intrude, don't know if you mind me pming you. I would like some advice.

goldfinchonthelawn · 18/06/2022 15:08

Nobody gets throughlife without doing something they regretm, something they're ahsamed of, something which doesn;t reflect how they truly feel about the people they love. No one.

What matters is now - the love you have for each other and your child, the life you are building together as a family. Don't ruin this with a pointless confession. No good could come of it. Focus on all the good stuff you describe. Now and the future - that's what is important.

seaUrchinOne · 18/06/2022 15:11

Zombie thread

AllAloneInThisHouse · 18/06/2022 15:18

Well, would you want to know if he had cheated on you? Be honest.

I don’t believe ’we all’ do something as bad as cheat (and then say silent for selfish reasons).
Sounds like something cheaters want to believe.

Personally, I would want to know.

Goodskin46 · 18/06/2022 15:23

Zombie thread. We are all allowed to have been young and foolish. How do we learn except by making mistakes.

Enjoy your husband baby and life.

Orangio · 18/06/2022 15:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

HotWashCycle · 18/06/2022 16:07

You were young OP, and what you did was understandable at least. But put it where it belongs - in the past. Then forgive yourself for making a youthful mistake, and move on. Enjoy your lovely DH and DC and your life together. Don't make yourself feel better by confessing - it won't work, and you will just make DH unhappy and mistrustful of you. You are grown up now, and you can suck up one mistake, forgive self and move on to your good life. Enjoy!

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