Abusive parents and nowhere to go

[Cannotcarryon]

Please bear with me this will be long and I am desperate.

I’m looking for some advice as I am completely lost and feel like I can’t carry on.
I’m 23, left an abusive relationship a while ago and had to move back in with my parents. I suffer with mental health problems and do not work because of this. My parents have always been emotionally abusive or use tactics to make me feel guilty etc and this evidently hasn’t changed like I thought it had. I had to move back here as I have nowhere else to go.

I have applied for council housing but am in a low priority band so could be waiting months if not years to be rehoused through them. I simply cannot afford to private rent, nor do I have that option as all the private landlords I have contacted that accept DSS want a guarantor and I do not have one.

My mum is particularly abusive, calls me names, bullies me, says I am “dossing” and “unfair” because I haven’t got a job. I have spent months looking for jobs that I feel would be doable for me with my current MH state. Nothing so far. I have only had one interview where they hired somebody with more experience.
I do not have any friends or other family I could live with. They have recently allowed my brother to move back in (and his girlfriend who is here most of the time) after he did something terrible to the family and caused a lot of problems but all has been forgiven. I cannot do anything right in their eyes no matter what.
They say they “want me to be well” but then my mum mocks me for getting “all upset” about things. This morning she has bombarded me with insults and belittled me. This situation is making my MH so much worse but I cannot leave because I literally do not have anywhere to go apart from the streets.

I have spoken to my local council housing dept about the situation and the homelessness team but they can’t offer me any real practical support. All I have to do is keep bidding on properties that I’m not going to get for a long time.

I am nervous all the time waiting for them to say something nasty to me, and then they will talk as if everything is normal and be nice, then they will switch and the tirade begins.

I’m at the end of my rope with it all, I feel like I cannot carry on living like this

I understand you're feeling frustrated and your mental health deteriorates with the situation you are in but there are some things for you to think about maybe in a different way. Firstly, your parents DO care - this is shown by the fact they allow you to live them. I was disowned by my family at 16 and was never allowed a roof over my head with them. It is very hard for people who are not suffering a particular illness to truly empathise but they are at least trying with a huge practical support.
Being brutal, you are going to have to do what many of us have to do as we have no family, no guarantors...you are going to have to keep bidding and keep waiting and save a tiny little each week to get a deposit up if the council cannot offer a place. PIP for mental health issues does give you a little more money than many! Save as much as you can, feel empowered and proactive. But please appreciate just why you are low priority - you are adequately housed unlike so many.
You can also check Facebook and local newsagents as there are lots of people who want a lodger.

I do sympathise, you can focus on the negatives of feeling belittled or turn it around. You never know, a positive attitude change by you may change your family's attitude at same time. Also, don't forget to inform your CPN or Psychologist if symptoms are worsening as you may need meds changing. Good luck, you can do this!