I had a thread on here last week about finding messages on my boyfriends phone from a girl offering him porn and telling him she knew why they couldn't be together but that she wanted it anyway. I know nothing happened as she is in another country, but I felt utterly betrayed by his responses to her messages. We were trying to put it behind us, but it's not working.
DP told me last night that he still isn't over his ex wife (she is quite famous and they had a very good lifestyle. He still has money, but the social side of things he can no longer access and I think, reading between the lines, that his self esteem / ego has taken a knock by this) He said he adores and loves me, but that he wasn't ready for a relationship when he met me. He says he is hurting me and DS and he doesn't know how to stop.
We left it as us still being together but him needing space, which he has asked for before, but I am wondering where my back bone is in all of this?
I love him so bloody much, I thought we were going to grow old together, but I deserve more than someone who is pining for their ex and keeps backing away and asking for space. I have always told him in the past that we are a team, that I know he is having a tough time but that I will always be there for him. BUT, what about me? He is the one who hurt me by texting another girl, he should surely be trying to make this better, not just saying he needs space.
I know you ladies can be harsh, I am hurting so much, but I need to find my anger. I need to realise that I am being a mug. There is no way I can make this better, he needs to do this.
How do I move forward?