Can a narc mother change?

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Does it ever happen? Anyone got any experience of this? I've been nc with mine over a decade and was considering writing a letter to ask some questions but other people tell me they never change, that it'd be impossible and that they only get worse over time.. My dm has written to me 3 times & I believe would now do anything I asked to have contact. What do you think?

Short answer - No.

No.

It seems unlikely and they would have to really want to change and understand why they needed to.

She does a good mea culpa

No. Stay NC. Don't let her back into your life. If your questions are about why she did what she did, her answers will not be any sort of truth and she will probably say it was your fault. Please stay NC.

No. They generally don't have much in the way of empathy or self reflection going on. I wouldn't take the risk. It's part of your conditioning to feel guilty and wonder about her needs, but it's very important to think about your needs. Consider the impact on you of having her back in your life with all the old behaviours still in place

A good mea culpa isn't what I meant, I'm moving to a clear no.

The term narc gets thrown around a lot. Are there mental health conditions at play? If so, could seeking help for these be a condition of your reconnection?

My mum fits the 'narc' banner in a few ways. In fact I posted recently about going NC with her. But I know in my heart of hearts, she is depressed and always has been, but is too obsessed with her perceived 'stigma' of MH conditions that she won't seek help. It's not her fault the way she behaves he way she does. She's ill and needs help and I do all I can to try and get her to come to terms with this.

That's just my situation but just thought I would put it out there in case it could be a possibility.