That the reason he dropped the amount of maintenance he paid a few years ago without telling me first was 'a fucked up power trip'
Obviously I already knew this but 17 years of passive aggression, gas lighting and general head fuckery has meant that even now I still question myself over everything.
It feels MASSIVE that he's admitted this. Like I can finally start truly trusting myself. I'm only just starting to understand the effects his behaviour has had on me over such a long period of time.
Gaslighting is such an evil evil way of treating people because of how it affects them. I've started to trust myself more but that tiny voice at the back of my head is always saying 'are you sure he meant it badly'
No reason for this post really other than needing to get it out and also to say I wish I'd trusted myself more in the past when I felt things weren't right