Constant screens

[Laylajaney]

My bloke constantly is on his laptop or looking at his phone .
I cant talk to him very easily .He wont put his screens down so we can talk or have a conversation. Its driving me mad .
He is ok outside the house athough I have caught him looking at his phone when we are in a restaurant .

Argh, this is just so frustrating. It's really hard to regulate without making it sound like you are hectoring him. What does he do/say when you ask him to put his phone down?

Honestly I don't think you will get him to change his habits, so you'll have to decide if that's what you want in a relationship. Sorry to sound so negative, but in my experience this is how it is.

Good Lord, drives me MAD!

Mine is on his phone constantly , just scrolling through facebook or instagram. It's in his hand and on autopilot he starts scrolling. I stop talking when he does it but most of the time he doesn't even notice. We do have a family ban at the table (teenage daughter is the same but chatting instead of scrolling). It's so rude! Them MIL comes down and puts her phone next to the dinner plate! ARRGGHHHH!

Went for a family meal yesterday and I was the only one not doing it. So I got mine out. DH looked shocked and put his away.

For about 30 seconds.

Im afraid that is turning out to be the screens or me .Ive asked him so many times to but screens away but he quickly reverts .to type . He makes me feel boring -it affects my self esteem .

My dh is the same. It actually pisses me off that unfortunately part of his job is monitoring social media. He is always on his phone, he used to have a work phone which he doesn't bring home anymore. Yet is hypocritical because he still uses his own phone for it?? I've actually said we should have Sunday as a no phone day!

Was eating dinner yesterday. Family on next table husband, wife and 2 sons all on phones and not talking. Very sad

Does he have a lot of screens? Is it work phone home phone ipad laptop or just work phone- and does he come out instead of working late? If just one phone might be the only way he gets to leave the office pn time and he just needs a gentle reminder he’s not quite got the balance right yet. If loads he might just be screen-addicted and then there’s an app called Moment which can really ram it home just how much time you waste automatically flickingn through random stuff.

Ask if you can have one hour a night where the phones are in a different room. You really need to be honest yet non-accusatory, which is a hard balance, but he needs to know how his mindless behaviour is making you feel.

I have the same problem. I just do my own thing now, and he doesn't notice/care. It's pretty sad tbh.

I heard something on the radio today (only caught the end) about an app (or new thing on phone? Didnt catch that bit) that will tell you how much time youve spent scrolling, and also give you reminders to put your phone down. Wonder if its the "moment" app mentioned above.

Do you think he is not interested, or the problem is with the phone (as in, moving towards "addicted"?

Could you agree a period every day wheen you'll literally put both your phones/tablets etc in a box in the hall (or wherever) and just carry on without them. Whether thats eating, cooking, going for a walk or sitting quietly watching something in one anothers company.

Does he involve you in anything hes doing on it? I will admit I use phone if going out to eat and waiting around for a long time but it can work as something to start conversation (for me I would catch up and discuss news with DP).

Men, women, boys and girls, everyone is on a screen of some sort. The art of conversation will very soon be a thing of the past, terribly sad.

I hope it all turns around, and people get bored of technology, and sales of Monopoly and Cluedo go upseriously though, the youngsters today struggle to speak to each other

Tell him. It's bad manners.

Send him an email

I feel your pain - for my DH it’s his iPad and he claims it’s fine because he’s looking at the news but he plays games on it constantly even falling asleep with it and then says I’m always on my phone - I’m not, he has a totally distorted view of how much time he spends on his. I’m tempted to put that app on both our devices to prove it to him.

The one thing we both stick to and are militant about is no screens at the table when eating

This is the opposite of what I have found. I find it's women always on their screens rather than men. If I'm out with a group of friends, whether it's restaurant or pub or even round someone's house, the men never go near their phones, but the women are always checking them, scrolling them - none of them have kids, so not checking in case of babysitters. They're just scrolling through FB most of the time. I think it's rude.

If its affecting you and your self esteem, why are you putting up with it?
Do you have DC together?
Married?

Yes we are married and have grown up children .
I must say I havent tried saying -one hour free please !