Am I right to not ask for a second date?

[hubblebubbletoiltrouble]

Recently separated, asked out an ex-colleague on a date which was on Saturday night. I wouldn't usually have sex on the first date but as I've known him for years and we were out for 8 hours, it ended up that way. It was an amazing night in lots of ways.

Anyway we've been talking/flirting via text but no mention of seeing again. As I asked him out the first time (though he said he wouldn't ask me as I'd separated recently) I am not asking him again. I think it's pretty reasonable to say that I'm no longer attached to my ex so I can't see why he wouldn't ask this time.

Am I right to not ask him? I feel like it really puts me out on a limb if I do and it's a bit desperate.

If he's responding to texts and so on and being flirty, and you had a great night, I think you're overthinking a bit. He's probably wondering why, if you had the relative confidence to ask the first time, you haven't again. It's a minefield at this stage - if you like him, and enjoyed the night, and most importantly felt safe, just ask again - it could just be something like "would love to see you again soon", and see where it goes from there.

Don't play games, if you want to see him again then go for it

agreed some people aren't very confident with these things - you lose nothing be asking and it isn't needy at all

Yeah I really agree with this, the dating game has changed since I was last in it but, crikey, if you stand around waiting for a bloke to take the initiative you'll drive yourself mad! Just go for it.

Oh. I thought you'd all agree. Haha! That showed me.

Maybe I'll have a gin first.

If you want to see him again, tell him so.

Ask him again. Then tell him if he wants to meet a third time, it's his turn to ask

I think, perhaps, cool it a little so that he doesn't feel you are chasing him.

I wouldn't ask him again, it is fair to want him to take the next step.

I’m going to go against the grain here. I think it’s his turn.

Yeah I know - “turns” - silly - yada yada. I still think it’s his turn.

Maybe a non-request request?

'I had fun on Saturday, it would be great to go out again sometime'

I don't think I can bring myself to do it. I think it's too embarrassing for me and awkward for him if he doesn't want another and then has to say no.

Do you want to see him again? If you do ask him out, easy as that.

I don’t hesitate to ask someone out, if they say no, well they say no, you’ve lost nothing! If he says yes then great!

Im on the dont ask him side. I dont think you should do all the running.

We are you cutting your nose off to spite your face? You've been naked with this man for fucks sake. If you want to see him tell him.

As I asked him out the first time (though he said he wouldn't ask me as I'd separated recently) I am not asking him again. I think it's pretty reasonable to say that I'm no longer attached to my ex so I can't see why he wouldn't ask this time.

If you want a healthy, adult, open, honest relationship with someone, then make all your interactions honest and open. If you want things to be hard work, then try to second guess them and play games.

By all means don't rush, if that is the pace you want; but if you want another date, just go for it.

I think it's too embarrassing for me and awkward for him if he doesn't want another and then has to say no.

What sort of weirdo would be flirty texting someone they just had great sex with, but not want a date?

If I were you I'd cool the texting and see if he 'phones you and asks you out.

I asked him today, and we're going out next week. Thanks :D