Starting to hate DP and his family

[rolocupcake]

I am writing this in tears after another shit day of name calling and petty comments.

To give some background, I am 20 and DP is 22, we have a 6 week old DD. His family live round the corner. Mine live about 10 minutes away (I drive). Ive had a difficult relationship with my mum but during my pregnanacy we have become closer.

DPs family was always amazing with me, MIL and I was very close, going shopping etc girly days out. She has 3 other children the youngest being 4. His grandparents are still great with me, they treat me like their own. MIL knows DP is verbally abusive, he is to her, so often I've confided in her but shes beginning to be one of the reasons why we argue

We first found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks, DP was so happy and I think those first few weeks was the happiest Ive been in ages. MIL was over the moon too. Then halfway through my pregnancy, when we moved in together nearer to his family, things started to change. DPs family constantly popped round, but he always left me in the living room to play with his little sisters whilst he had his friends round. I got fed up of having to basically babysit every night and told him they couldnt come round as much, or if they did he can watch them or babysit at MILs. Well neither of them took this well, MIL said I was horrible, DP called me a million names and ever since its been the same.

Every single day he picks on me. Slag, bitch, prick, cunt day in day out. But when he's nice no ones better. I feel like i live with two different men.

Fast foward to DDs birth. Throughout the pregnancy DP said he would do everything he could esp at night, nappy changes, burping, settling etc as Im breastfeeding. Has this happened? no. He rarely holds her for longer than 10 minutes, changes the odd nappy and says its because I chose to have her. Yet we both knew I wasnt on the pill and was more than likely going to get pregnant!

Now, he falls out with me because MIL wants to babysit all the time, plan a christening etc. I dont want one, neither family is religous, theres conflict within each family itd just be a big faff but they wont take no for an answer. He even said they will just organise a christening for their family and mine wont be welcome.

MIL isnt as awkward with me now, but still makes little comments or ignores my texts when I dont let her have her own way with my DD. But I cant believe how nasty DP is... he's immature and self admittedly not ready to be a dad. I'm heartbroke that my little girl is in this situation. I desperately want to move but I'd struggle fianancially and Im terrified of them taking me to court or something for full custody of DD as I know they wouldnt just settle for us having joint custody. He even says I should ask permission to take her out.

I love DD, adore her, look after her day and night and I just look at her dad and my heart breaks. This isnt the family life I thought id have.Ive no friends. And i dont feel comfortable enough (yet) to tell my family whats really been going on

Is he on the bc?
Please please tell your dm. I would be gutted to know my dd was so unhappy.

If you're close to your family then you need to tell them what's going on. Maybe you can stay with your Mum or dad for a while? He sounds awful. Make plans to leave

As a bare minimum you will get 50-50 custody. In reality you will probably end up with more or less full custody as this cock womble wont want to be lumbered with a small child half the time.
Forget his family, in terms of custody they simply DO NOT COME INTO IT.
Get yourself down for a council house and go see a family solicitor for half an hr of free time to find out the best way to get yourself away from this bunch of peasants.

You need to step up OP.
You are the mother of a little baby and if you don't behave like the adult here....who is going to? No one. Is he an adult? No. Is his mum? No. They're all a bunch of wankers aren't they?
Stop the 'Don't like to', mantra and explain what's going on to your mum, to your family, to your Health Visitor, to anyone who you trust and who will listen, because hiding away from the truth of a situation is hurting you and by extension, hurting your child.
And that, OP is unforgivable.
You are being abused. Badly, horribly abused. Women's Aid, if you contact them, will advise you on the steps you need to take as will a solicitor.
If your partner's name is on the birth certificate then yes, he has access rights - but no more than 50/50 with you as the other 50%. However, his abusive behaviour needs to be documented because I would legally challenge his access rights if I were you - because of his abusive behaviour.
If he abuses you, then he's capable of abusing your child.
Get out of this toxic, damaging and suffocating situation urgently before you are damaged terribly yourself.
You can do this.

A man who loves and respects a woman doesn't call her names like that. A man who is a good and responsible dad will happily do what he can to support the mother of his child with nappy changing, night time wake ups etc. Please please put yourself and your baby first and leave as soon as you can, before the violent language becomes physical.