Narcissistic ex has a new partner

[Kayfrancis]

I was with my ex for 9 years we have a little boy who is 4 and we broke up a while ago. He never gives me no money and can go ages without seeing him. When he does see him he always has to be in my house because he makes excuses he has no where to take him. When I tell him he has to sort other arrangements out he just doesn’t bother for a few months.

At first when we broke up I felt relief and happy. But now I feel like he is living with someone and is happy with a new person. He won’t tell me he is with anyone but I know because of the way he is.

Now I’m really low thinking he is gonna have this happy family together and he is everything I wanted him to be with this new person. He is so vile to me tells me I’m a tramp and hates me. I never Domenic anything to him he was the one who use to hit me spit in my face and go on and on. He would never listen to me he would over talk me all the time.

I feel so lonely like I will never meet anyone I’m moving back in with my mum for few months to save for a mortgage but more because I need strength and want to be with someone. I’m embarrassed at 31 I’m going home.

Why can he be so happy. Did he ever love me and why is this person so much better then me? He went on holiday the other week to Greece and I have a feeling it was with her. The whole 9 years we was together we never went away.

Why do I still pine for him I just want the thoughts of him happy with someone else to go away. I’m fed up of doing everything by myself. It won’t surprise me if he was to have another baby soon but keep it from us. He won’t tell me what town he is living or anything about himself.

He might be happy but she won't be.
Narcs never change.
He'll treat her the same way he did you.
Be glad he's moved on and relish the peace and quiet.
Feel very very sorry for her!
And do NOT let him in your house - EVER AGAIN!

Don't you worry, you had an absolute escape from the prick. He is nice to her now. He is charming her but once he gets his feet under the table he will abuse her also. You think now that he's happy but he will never be happy. He will destroy every relationship he ever has, you are lucky. You seem like a lovely person and in time you will meet someone who appreciates and loves you! You never know what is around the corner. As for moving back home, it's not unusual! I'm in the same situation but hey its better than being with a nasty bully x

I keep tell myself he will be the same to her but it’s the not know and playing head games. But thank you. Your right I should never allow him in my house because he is always getting what he wants. It definitely is better then being with a nasty bully. X

You're feeling like this because he has stripped out most of your self-esteem. No doubt in the months or years to come this new person will be feeling exactly like you do now. Personally I would change your phone number or ignore his texts - if he can't be bothered to have an active relationship with his child, he needs to realise that that is going to become a permanent thing.

Feel sorry for whoever he is with now, and hold your head high in the knowledge that he can never again make you feel like you do right now.

You need to find your inner warrior OP.
You are worth ten times the pathetic twat that he is. He calls you names because it makes him feel big and powerful. And the more sad, tearful, unhappy you are, the more big and powerful he feels.
Its what dick-head men and dead-beat dads do.
And you need to work on your boundaries to ensure that you don't allow the type anywhere near you, ever again.
So, its inner warrior time for you petal.
I'd start by telling him to fuck off back to the swamp he crawled out of. He's a pond life. And you're a warrior in training.

He never will be truly happy because narcissistic people can never be pleased. Any new partner will never be truly happy with him either- he may be laying it on thick as the perfect guy right now but as you know the facade will soon fade.

Write a list of reasons you are better off without it, and look at it daily. Your time will soon come!! Work on your own happiness for a while xxxx

Thanks everyone, you are all so right. I need to make myself happy it’s not fair on my little boy. I’m gonna have to stop thinking of him cut all contact and move forward.

Hi OP I know exactly how you feel as I feel exactly the same. Narcissistic ex and I split 4 years ago. I just found out he has been seeing a woman who was a friend to both of us - but who took his 'side' when we split.
It has really eaten me up as she was bloody horrible to and about me when we split. My only hope is she soon realised what she has let herself in for when he starts acting narc again and they both get their comeuppance.

Mine is just the same. We split 16 years ago and his behaviour still gets to me - he has made a new life with a new family and a month ago abandoned our 15 year old completely. He now refuses to reply to her messages. He has had numerous affairs - I am well rid but worry about the damage he is doing to our dd.