Can I relocate my children - pregnant

[OopsUpTheDuffAgain]

I won’t bore you with the details, but STBXH and I are going through a divorce. We’re still living in the same house and were working towards 50/50 custody.

I have since v newly fallen pregnant with my boyfriend. On one hand I’m ecstatic and the other terrified.

BF lives several counties away. What are my chances of being able to relocate my children so baby can be with it’s father and my DCs with me and their new sibling??

Well that's a pickle isn't it? Putting your children first involves staying where you are,carry on with 50/50 care with dad,when he has kids you can take it in turn ,you and yr bf to travel to each other's houses.dont see why the existing kids should be ferried from pillar to post,you and yr bf do the driving

Why is he good enough to have them 50% but not a good dad and not good enough for him to do 90%?

If you boyfriend lives several counties away and you don't yet have 50:50.....how much time have you spent together.

Because I am betting you, really, barely know him or how good a father he is.

So STBXH isn’t a great Dad tbh. But, not bad enough to warrant not considering 50:50 (or more like 60/40 would be my preference) but most certainly not good enough to be given full custody.

He could well say the same about you though.

BF is a wonderful father and would be the most amazing influence on my kids.

How convenient

How long have you been seeing this bf? You aren't yet divorced yet want to uproot your DC away from their DF for your benefit.

BF is a wonderful father and would be the most amazing influence on my kids

Ah that’s all Ok then. Crack on.

So that leaves two choices. Lose the baby or have the baby and bf sees it part time

If you move, your existing children will also only get to see their father part time (and he them). Why is your new partner being able to spend time with his child more important than your STBXH being able to spend time with his children?

I never understood what it felt like to be a child from a broken family, but knew many friends who suffered from it, until recently. I'm 30 years old. My parents separated after many years 2 years ago, and my dad moved straight in with another woman. It's still not settled. My sisters and I still feel hurt and not ready to meet her. It's only now that I understand how absolutely confusing and heartbreaking it is for children in this circumstance, who have absolutely no say in who they live with. I live the other side of the world from both my parents and the situation still affects me.
My point is, your children are going to long be affected by the situation, more than you can know. You need to put their needs first. Moving in with your new boyfriend any time soon will be incredibly confusing/hurtful for then. You might not think their dad is great, but that's not necessarily THEIR opinion. Children are forgiving- he could be an absolute shit, but be their hero.