I have heard it all now.....

[isthismylifenow]

Divorced a few months after lengthy separation.

Got talking to a mutual friend of ex and I. Ex is in a bit of a financial spot at the moment, not good really for me either as support payments for dc are at risk. But that a whole other issue.

I asked friend if he been in contact with ex, he said no he had not. Friend asked would I consider taking ex back. I reply no, as in no fucking way. To get a reply back from him, "you are a stubborn and hard arsed and your ego and pride is more important"

WTAF!

So i ask him again if he had been in touch with ex, as surely this must have come from a discussion they had. He claims he didnt and then said, "rather the shit you know".

Really. Why is it so hard for a male to understand that woman do not have to have a man around. As I haven't seen anyone in a few years, now in his mind I need to take ex and all his shit back again, and am being accused of being a hard arse as i won't.

I am quite angry at the attitude to be honest.

So that conversation went very cold after that......

He is clearly not a mutual friend. He is Ex's friend and is a twat like him. I would avoid him and find your own friends.

Exactly! He's no friend of yours.

Sounds like the friend is a 'fibber' unless he's got form for interfering. Suspect your ex prompted him to sound you out. I imagine you didn't get divorced on a whim either... It's so simple for some exes and their friends, isn't it? And then again, some exes and friends are so simple!

and am being accused of being a hard arse as i won't
Good - surely you wouldn't want it any other way!!???
Take it as a big fat compliment.
I'm so much happier without a man in my life!
(apart from my dad of course)

Yes Hells, I should be taking it as a compliment, you are right.

I say mutual as they (he and ex) were friends, because of our friendship though, which has spanned longer than my marriage did.

Yes Mouse, so easy for some to comment on things they know nothing about. Like hell i would go back to that way of life.

I was very annoyed I must say. I am seeing the funny side now though. I dare say that there will be more of this to come.

Just didnt expect this from a friend of more than 25 years.

One of the beneficial aspects is that you'll be prepared should anyone else try to 'influence' you in ex's favour. I expect the 'friend' is thinking he's done you a favour too - putting you in the picture re your personal 'short-comings', which, as Hells has pointed out, are actually admirable strengths.

I know not all men think a woman needs a man in order to function. But I do think there's a hefty tranche out there who couldn't conceive of a life well-lived without a woman in place to augment whichever of their own short-comings...

And a woman who manages without a man? It's just 'not right' - she's upsetting the world order.

So, carry on being 'unnatural' - reap and enjoy the benefits!

My prediction is that this man will try it on with you next. Bet cha.

He’s either doing your Ex’s bidding or in some teenage warped way, he’s testing the waters. Either way, this man was never your friend.

Some men do a bang up job of playing the part of a normal human who actually cares but then the mask slips and there it is, the real them. Just be glad that you eventually got to see his true colours and don’t waste any more headspace on this twat by blocking him.

My prediction is that this man will try it on with you next. Bet cha.

Yep- sounds like a neggy attempt at flirting to me.

@itchyknees

You called it. He messaged again about some trivial things, and in the mix asked when we could meet up.

So, carry on being 'unnatural' - reap and enjoy the benefits

Thank you Mouse, yes it is how i intend things to be for the foreseeable future. I see now that conversation made me realize how happy I am at the moment. I could not be arsed with all that drama to be honest.

When every said onwards and upwards, I really only truly get it now...