Husband is confusing me

[Roozi]

My husband and I have been married for 3 years and I've been thinking about having a baby for over a year now. My husband on the other hand is very scared and negative. Everytime I bring up the idea of having a baby or try to share my feelings with him about starting a family all he comments on is the negative. For example, after countless years of experience with my nephews and nieces, I often share with him how exciting and amazing it will be to have our own, share a bond with our own child, and go through a new journey together. Admittedly so, I see the bright side because I feel confident and excited about being a mother. However... everytime I make a comment or get excited his response is "there's nothing exciting about sleepless nights or a baby taking over life..." Or something else negative. He often says it's not the right time. When I ask him when the right time is, he doesn't have a solid answer. We are financially secure which I know is a concern for him. I'm starting to feel really down. I'm pushing down my feelings and desires to be a mother. Which I feel is making me resent my husband. I love him and I wish he was on the same page as me. I understand his rational approach but I wish he would throw me a bone sometimes and feel optimistic about it. We've talked a lot about this but nothing really comes of it. He remains stubborn and I am just waiting around for him to say yes. I don't wana rush him, and I understand his side...but I feel like time is passing us by and my resentment is growing. Sometimes I feel like I just want to have a baby without him. But then what's the point of our marriage? Sometimes he makes comments about not Even wanting kids anymore. Something he never said before we got married...he says because all the family and friends who have babies are always tired and Stressed and he only sees the Downside. He thinks pregnancy will destory me physically and mentally and why would I want to put myself through that.
How can I make him be a bit more optimistic about having a baby?
Is this a normal fear men have? We haven't even started to try...and I'm not sure how much more time I can wait before I'm turned off the idea of having a child specifically with someone who doesn't even want it.

I'm not sure what there is to be confused about? He's clearly telling you he doesn't want children...

Sorry but you need to leave the marriage. He doesn't want what you want. He has literally told you that to your face.

People who don't want children shouldn't have children. I disagree that not wanting a child = negative.

You deserve an honest answer if he's changed his mind or needs to talk things over with a third party because he's scared. Does he have a good relationship with his parents? I have a really poor one and parenthood brings that issue to the fore front.

How old are you both?

I also don't think not wanting to have a child makes you a negative person. I do wonder how much these sort of responses are to do with gender. If this was a woman posting saying she didn't want a child, it her husband posting saying his wife didn't, would people still be saying she's selfish, negative whatever?

I see nothing negative about it, if you don't wish to be a parent you don't wish to be a parent, not everyone does and as said, it certainly doesn't make you a bad person.

I do wonder if these posters look at couples who are childless through choice and think what they are posting on here, that they are negative selfish people.

What's the op?

Where's not what's.

Where is the op? She vanished.