Dad wished my dc's would get run over

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Hi all, I need some advice and thought this would be a good place to start.

I've had a rough few years. Three young children, ex h had an affair (which was very much a shock) and is currently living with the other woman.
We are now divorced.

Family home was sold, due to my declining mental health I overspent and am now in debt. I was private renting for 18 months but the landlord increased the rent and I found it hard to meet bills.

I'm currently living with my parents, sharing a room with my children.
This seemed the ideal solution, give me chance to be kind to myself, deal with my debts and try and save a little.

The problem is, I didn't realise how emotionally abusive my dad is, towards my mum and myself and children. We have never had a great relationship even has a child myself but never to this extreme.

He verbally abuses my mum on a daily basis, is financially controlling with money even though he is very well off.
My mum says it has always been like this and she can ignore it.
The trouble is I can't, the constant swearing, put downs and walking on eggshells is just awful.

It came to a head last night, when he called me a piss taker for having used too many plates during the day (we have a dishwasher and I pay board) and said 'they should be run over' in reference to my children when they had left a toy out.
This is never confrontational, but always in earshot.

I just don't know what to do, I can't afford to up and leave. But I feel this is affecting my mental health more, and also don't want my children exposed to this.

I feel like such a failure, in three years we've gone from having a lovely family home to losing everything.

Has anyone any advice?

Have you approached your local council? I would expect you definitely register as overcrowded.. they can also help you with deposits etc. Does your exH pay child support?

So sorry to hear your father is so awful to you all and you've had such an awful time recently xxx

Go to the CAB. Can you record some of his abuse? Have you contacted Women's Aid? Get as much advice as possible.

I hope you find a way out. 💐

Youre not a failure! Your ex had an affair and your father is abusive. Have you seen what you'd be entitled to?

Please call women's aid. They will give you a place in a Refuge. Doesn't have to be a partner. I went into a Refuge because of abuse from my Dad. Most refugees have self contained flats. Even without going to a Refuge, they can offer advice and support x

You CANNOT keep those children in that house with him OP..... It's a huge safeguarding issue xx

Did he mean the kids should be run over or the toy?

CAB is probably your best bet for reliable advice- it sounds so stressful and it must feel like your options are so limited but you have picked yourself up once, have faith in yourself that you can do it again there are people who can help you

CAB and women's aid OP

I am absolutely stunned anyone could say that let alone your dad!!

You and the children cannot stay around a vile so called man

That would be the end of my relationship with my dad,that's for sure

Oh he deffo meant the children to be run over.

My mum has just shown me more abusive texts she has received from him, although won't do anything about it. But has confided in me that he has been like this for years.

He had a camera in the house next to the front door so he could watch what she/we were doing on his phone but I've been turning that round to face the wall.

I will look into can thanks.

I know this sounds awful, but I've been lucky or unlucky however you look into it to have quite a nice life up until my ex left. I don't know if I could make the kids stay in a refuge because I've got myself into debt.

It's so frustrating because if I could consolidate my debts it would be so manageable and we'd be ok, but obviously my credit rating is rubbish so can't do that.