No answer at Women's Aid...

[KickingTheKerb]

I was hoping someone here might be around for a chat...

I was in a state of panic and fear and wanted the police to support me in case XP came back.

I'm not sure the Police or Womens Aid are the right people to call but you'll likely get some support on here.

Nobody should be driven to terror in their own home. The police and WA are exactly the right people to call. Well done OP. Domestic Abuse is now (eventually) a crime. Please also make sure your gp knows what is going on. This is absolutely not your fault.

I was hoping WA could give me advice for how to manage the situation longer term.

WA are an overstretched charity geared towards helping save lives by helping women leave abusive relationships.

If that isn't your situation than they're not the best people to ask. And no crime has been committed so the Police won't be much help either.

Ideally I need some legal advice to put our 'arrangement' in writing.

Make an appointment with a solicitor. Some (not all by any means but some) offer a 30 minute free consultation

WA are the people to get in toch with re domestic abuse which is what this is. He has left you rerrified in your own home and fearful of him coming back. And the police can help you feel safe too. You are doing exactly the right thing.

They don't just help women leave. They support them after leaving too. They can also suggest lawyers.

I guarantee 100% the Police will have nothing to say about OPs ex saying he can't have the kids this weekend, her insisting he will and him being passive aggressive and not backing down.

This would not trigger a MARAC or a DASH and no crime has been committed. Seems like some posters are reading things that aren't there.

WA are brilliant and they will be supportive. I think you need to get onto a solicitor in the morning, and get a proper contact agreement drawn up.

What is the situation with your home? Is it jointly owned / rented? Does he have the right to come in? If he turns up and starts shouting and raving, then you can call the police.

You need to leave a message with WA, telling them your name and number, and a good time to call you back. They will call back.

Give a brief message to state your level of fear (shaking, feeling very vulnerable, terrified, or however you feel).

Don't give up on WA. Their lines are always busy but they do call back.

Thank you for understanding that the situation is very difficult for me.

The police have signposted some local support for me and I've left a message for WA.

Well done @kickingthekerb, I hope things progress tomorrow. WHat you've done was brave.

www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/legal-help-and-responsibilities/getting-legal-help/

There should also be something local to you, that supports women.

Also C.A.B

Try your local Women's Aid - the national helpline is so busy, better to try your local number during office hours.

I'm sorry you've been subjected to this. I know what it's like when it's not physical but completely destroys you, especially over time. I believe you.

Have a look at the Freedom Programme and sign up to do a course. It'll change your life